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Victoria College Capping Carnival. Town Hall Thursday, June 26, 1913

Act I. — Wellington in 1950

page 12

Act I.

Wellington in 1950.

Disher's Song.

Air—"The Pale Young Curate" from "The Sorcerer." (Gilbert and Sullivan).

Time was when womankind were sweet and tender,
With voices that were ever soft and low,
Their only care, to make themselves look slender,
Their only fear, that Age's hand should show.
We used to call them dear gazelles or fairies,
And worshipped, in some garden far remote,
Our Marguerites or Guiniveres or Marys;
Ah me; but that was ere they got the vote.

In earlier times, at sight of gun when loaded,
One little shreik and they would swoon away.
Electric light: They thought that it exploded;
They feared night's darkness creeping on the day.
But then with band secure and features placid,
And not without some measure of aplomb,
They scattered here and there the deadly acid;
Ah me, they hurled the loudly banging bomb.

And as they died, they called to them their daughters,
"Burn, Burn" they said, and "Blessed is she who starves,"
And "Men will growl, who must find better quarters,
Their own being burnt, to stow their better halves."
And thus in stages did these skirted millions,
Where burning words that hissed from burning throats,
Had failed, by burning pigstyes and pavilions;
Ah me, attain their much desired vote.

page 16

In the olden days when the men received the bays,
We had really no decided bent,
This lasted till Dahn passed his little bill,
Which gave to women seats in Parliament.
Now he must bake till he's got the cooking done,
Spend his time in scrubbing on the floor,
While we legislate and hapless pressmen bait,
And at the sterner sex the females roar.
Won't you be a dainty suffragette, Little Hughie Mac,
We will give you something that you lack,

Both:—Secular Education.

We will show you how to fire a bomb,
And with great aplomb, reduce your embonpoint
Till you can sprint and never more need stint,

Both:—Mineral Waters.

If you will choose to change your rosy views,
As to how to run this show of ours,
We will show you ways and a little trick that pays.
For the Law Clerk who the Coll for knowledge scours.
Since Ward has gone to the island of Ceylon,
Suffragettes decided quite to stay,
And the boy in blue is Bridget, Jane or Sue,
The Barrister is Alice, Maud or May.
Jimmy Garrow be a suffragette,
Then once more your whistle you can wet,

Both :—As in the days of local option.

We will show you wrongs you've never "tort,"
Ahd if you're a sport to bounce a Judge in Court,
And if you please, some extra fees we'll squeeze,

Both:—From College Students.