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Victoria College Students' Carnival. Thursday and Friday, June 24th and 25th, 1909

The "New" Man

page 5

The "New" Man.

Tune: Duet "Sing Pooh to you." (Patience.)
I.
I am a man of intellect, my brain is full of oddities.
A clever man, as never man (he says) was seen before.
I buried all my common sense, and now beneath the sod it is.
He stamped on it, and tramped on it, and now it is no more.
I came to College just to see if I could pass the LL.B.,
But long ago decided it was far too simplified for me,
And hardly worth expenditure of my originality.
A clever man, was never man just like him seen before!
No never yet. You will regret you did not like me more.
There's brown and gray, and sad and gay, and Prof's. of all variety,
With every kind of mighty mind that ever yet has been.
But none has yet been able to achieve my notoriety.
The newest type of student ever seen!

II.
I never work because it spoils my individuality.
It gives him pain to clog his brain with some one else's view.
But in research, with master minds, I am on an equality.
And each exam. he calls a sham because he can't get through.
All my ideas of swat are good, but just a bit heretical,
No M.Sc.'s nor LL.D.'s attain my type aesthetical.
And as for failure, that, with me, is merely parenthetical.
He will not shout his secret out but whispers very low.

Wallace and Gibson, the Shop for Cents' Overcoats. The "Kash," Willis Street.

page 6

My modesty preventing me from telling all I know.
For Prof.'s there are, oracular, and Prof.'s who make their meaning plain,
And every sort of tall and short that ever yet has been.
But I am he, as all agree, I say it without seeming vain,
The newest type of student ever seen.

III.
My forte it is, I say with pride, my fancy so hilarious.
Each striking touch is worth so much that here he shows his sense.
And every night I spend in thought on sox and suitings various.
Until his bill at David Mill-igan, is quite immense.
But what of that—my long-tailed coat, and aspect mildly dandified
Are more important far than skill to do addition and divide,
Or state the syllogistic rule and say how props. are quantified.
I think in this if he's remiss he merely shows his sense.
Chaps who won't "dress" are nothing less than an eyesore and offence.
Some Profs. I know, who vote us slow, and scorn our tame frivolity,
And some themselves are slower than the College e'er has been.
But none can be, you must agree, with me on an equality.
The newest type of student ever seen.

"E"