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James K. Baxter Complete Prose Volume 1

Strong Drink Not a Food

Strong Drink Not a Food

Sirs:

Without any intention to dispraise or flatter
I must touch on a rather delicate matter,
Which is that in your journal which is otherwise very good
You do not mention that strong drink is not a proper food.

What is the reason that in this fair land of ours
Notable for its snow mountains and kowhai flowers
There are so many strikes and road accidents causing us pain?
Mainly because of strong drink which weakens the brain.

page 123

There are some people who think that strong drink is good
And drink it in large amounts before and after their food;
But though they may start on beer they finish up with meths
Which is responsible for many untimely deaths.

The support of every happy New Zealand family
Is the housewife’s morning and afternoon cup of tea;
But many men from the paths of virtue are beguiled
By spending money on strong drink instead of on their wife and child.

The Prime Minister who has saved us from so much woe,
If he is not teetotal I think he must be nearly so,
Which is why he is able to be at the same time both good and great
And hold firmly in both hands the reins of State.

If our young people would only for a moment think
That they cannot be good citizens and drink strong drink,
We would have less of them developing unpleasant habits
And more money for keeping down Communism and rabbits.

Yours under Aquarius . . . (Uncollected)

1953 (68)