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Sport 41: 2013

IFan of a Fan

I      Fan of a Fan

So I lived in one of those modern houses in one of those left-wing cities where everyone worked in arts or a government department or for some humanitarian social justice NGO type thing and we all had to buy fair trade coffee but for some reason people didn’t seem to care so much about fair trade chocolate and sometimes they’d buy fair trade clothes if they were available or those vegan shoes that are made without animal glue but the rest of the time everyone bought the sweatshop made by children working for less than a dollar a day in Thailand/Philippines/Vietnam/China shoes like Chuck Taylor’s or Keds or Vans or something else that was fashionable but cheap and we’d say, ‘Oh well, you’ve got to pick your battles, you know, you can’t fight all of them, you have to know what’s worth it, because the time and money I spend looking for all of these obscure products, I could be putting into really doing something useful like campaigning or advocating,’ and then we wouldn’t campaign or advocate, we’d watch, say, a documentary about a 70s porn star and then discuss how the anarchists are dealing with the issue of rape in their community or we’d write fake fan letters to the authors of really bad fan-fictions where geisha!Harry Potter is sleeping with good!Darth Vader in 17th-century Japan during a tribble-outbreak ruled by evil nymphomaniac overlords the Olsen Twins, egging the authors on, commending them for their mastery of dialogue, character development, plot and literary craft, encouraging them to get a real publishing contract, that sort of thing, or we’d unpack our courier-delivered vege box and complain about whatever locally grown organic fruit and vegetables were currently in season or we’d drink a lot of red wine and then spend hours coming up with new names for Tyler’s Sims.