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Sport 39: 2011

Advice from the hospital kitchen

page 308

Advice from the hospital kitchen

Alma said: In Canada I never heard of mutton on the market.
        Never saw it anywhere.
        Geoffrey says mutton should be properly handled.
        I wonder how any people fry chops
        and have them tender as chicken.

Sheela said: Indian sweets are plumped with sugar, condensed milk,
        clarified butter. Not for the faint at heart,
        or folks with cholesterol.
        Prepare your ghee by simmering unsalted butter,
        boiling away any water and spoon it off for cooking.

Gracie said: When you’re preparing school gala cream puffs
        to impress the PTA,
        a hot oven is the trick. Choux pastry rises
        because of steam. Without it, your puffs will be
        flat and soggy.

Barb said: I’d heard there was a law from 1789 that says
        you won’t be arrested
        if you steal less than 10 francs worth of food.
        That’s three baguettes! No need to go hungry
        when you’re down and out in Paris.

Evie said: We had a hangi once, collected rocks from
        beach retaining walls.
        Dad coated the turkey in mud
        to bake. The crack of exploding
        sedimentary stones blew up
        all the dinner.

Lou said: Never double-dare your eight-year-old sister
        to order the lobster thermidor.
        She won’t eat it,
        its eyes are looking at her.

page 309 Maureen said: My brother learnt to cook in the army,
        came home on leave,
        cooked a banana cake, following the recipe.
        It wasn’t cooked in the forty-five minutes promised
        so he turned the dough out,
        started again.

Gwen said: When rain eased on a low tide
        we would carry billy cans, kindling
        and a buttered white loaf
        to the water’s edge, collecting pipi
        and make smoky sandwiches
        in our yellow rubber raincoats.

Lil said: Come for tea! Jim would love
        the company. Tonight
        I collected some puha on my walk
        and there’ll be missionary soup
        on the boil before you know it.
        Any time you’re hungry.