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Sport 34: Winter 2006

Her laugh jangles like a wrist of coloured bangles

Her laugh jangles like a wrist of coloured bangles

At a party he sees her. She's talking to Amy, their heads bowed together in secret. He can feel them looking at him. His new friend Rick is explaining the tragedy of Ian Curtis, gripping Federico's arm as he talks. Everyone talks about people like James Dean, which is crap, I mean Ian Curtis. Rick looks over his shoulder. Fly! he yells. The volume increases. James Dean didn't have thehe was just an actor.

Federico thinks of Giant. Mr Flood used to say James Dean

Who the fuck is Mr Flood? Everyone you know has weird names. What I'm saying is Ian Curtis was beyond cool, he was so far ahead, cool people thought he was uncool, which is so, you know. Rick's eyes won't focus on Federico's face. 'Love Will Tear Us Apart' starts to play. He slaps his arm round Federico's neck, hugs him, You're strange, bro, but I like you. Rick jumps away, pogos into the room. The crowd splits in two. And she's standing there, ignoring Rick, her head tipped back with laughter.

When she's not looking he tries to watch her hands. The way she holds them as she talks, not showing off with them, not aware of them, the way a tree doesn't notice its own branches. Unlike him, she seems to know exactly what to do with her hands, how to let them be, even when there's nothing in them.