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Sport 25: Spring 2000

Exact Words

page 44

Exact Words

Some time after the vasectomy
my friend mentioned
she might be pregnant.

Then her husband Dave
called to say
she was in bed with a tumour
the size of a baseball.
I could hear the World Series
playing in the background.
He passed the phone over
to her. It's true, she said
as big as a cantaloupe.
She certainly knew
her tropical fruits.

Dave phoned again
after the operation.
Benign, the surgeon reckons.
And the size and shape
of a baby's head.
Talk about a close shave.
Those were his exact words.