mail icontwitter iconBlogspot iconrss icon

Sport 25: Spring 2000

The Page Three Girl

page 7

The Page Three Girl

  • 1. In the beginning was the word. And the word was with God. And the word was God. Then the word became flesh and dwelt among us.
  • 2. At first the word was a German housewife. Simon the mechanic said she reminded him of A History of the World in Eight Volumes. He left her sitting on the shelf.
  • 3. Next the word was a nun. Barry the Gib-stopper was as interested in her as he was in reading the Bible.
  • 4. Then the word became a solo mother with three kids who had just been left by a troubled husband found spying on his boss for a foreign government until he ran away with her. Dave the cabinet-maker said she was as complicated as a novel.
  • 5. Next the word was an actress. Dick the electrician fell asleep when he found out there were no car chases in her script.
  • 6. Later the word was a barmaid. Vic the bricklayer quickly made off with her as though she was a Sunday newspaper tucked firmly underneath his arm.
  • 7. At last the word appeared as naked as a poem. Mum found her hiding underneath my mattress. I said heavens. She said hell. You said Jesus, Mary and Joseph. And all Jeff the plumber ever said was God!