Title: Sport 21: Spring 1998

Publication details: Fergus Barrowman, October 1998, Wellington

Part of: Sport

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The Bitching Shortlist

Don't you hate the ones who are kickers,
they love it when you're down,
don't you hate the ones who can't see
themselves, look at the big-shot frown,

the volley of blame going everywhere.
(The kids try to sneak outside.)
Let's spot the ones who are envy-us,
they covet, then flick to snide,

and the ones who lie down doggo
when you're in a hell of a mess,
their hands are as clean as a whistle,
so's the black Armani dress.

Don't you hate the cluds who are pushers,
scared to death going nice and slow,
the more they do & shove & get
the less they love and know.

As for the old dogmatics,
black or white's a snappy tune
but I wish they'd swambaloo a bit,
cross-dress and praise the moon.

Then the plain and dirty ruthless,
the ones who would fund to fail,
and the silly entertainer
with a trivia up her tail.