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Sport 21: Spring 1998
A Break from Bitching
A Break from Bitching
I can't wait to finish bitching,
finally its a bore.
It serves no surly purpose
when your gut's no longer sore.
So come with me my sweeties
come with me my pets
let's swoop on off, swambaloo
and take a load of bets.
Before we go and leave these hounds,
let's split to the Hutt Park Track
it's the GRC Farewell Stakes
(the field is in the back).
My hunch is Corporate Tiger,
his record's pretty slick,
trained, like Horny Critter,
by Ruth & Roger Dick.
But I hear the track is fast and hard
so Nico Teen could take the front
— in softer conditions
I'm not sure he's got the grunt.
Look they're off, they're off, my sweeties,
they're bounding wild & keen,
it's Thrust'n Hunt & Simon's Guy
Torque Back & Glycerine Queen.
It's Glycerine Queen & Thrust'n Hunt
fighting out the lead.
Nico Teen & Mad Dash Max
are putting on some speed.
Behind them running steady
Horny Critter's up there too,
Torque Back has gone, and running wide
Tuff Cookie's coming through.
Tuff Cookie's coming through the pack,
streaking through with style.
Glycerine Queen & Thrust'n Hunt
are falling back now, while
Tuff Cookie, Horny Critter—
who's this? — it's Tip Topp Twin,
an absolute outsider, and my god
she's going to win!