An Altercation

The Beast has been involved in an altercation. A disagreement. His nose is bloodied. His flank gashed. The Beast appears to have come second. It is a worry. ‘Who? who? who? what?’ we muse. We dab his wounds with hot wax. I read long passages of soothing heroic verse. We arrest a Friar and thumbscrew a confession from him. He is publicly stoned then put to work page 68 enlarging the dungeon. It is good to see bullies getting their comeuppance. Somehow, however, this does not reduce our distress as much as we might have hoped. Jeremy begins the Beast’s lessons in boxing. We volunteer several guards as sparring partners. The Beast lops off some of their limbs. He is an unorthodox southpaw. The Beast takes on all comers—Sir Gawain, Sir Ron Trotter, and a Mr Rodney Stewart who professes undying love for Rachel. We have always loathed Stewarts. The Beast does not let us down. Finally Sir Robert Jones—a particularly mouthy Knight. The Beast knocks his block off. At the end of the day however, we feel the spirit of competition to be the winner overall. Such are the joys of sport. We retire to our beds weary but enriched.