Salient. Official Newspaper of the Victoria University Students' Association. Vol 44 No. 9. May 4 1981

Orgasms

Orgasms

Although both men and women orgasm, we receive very different conditioning and training. Most men are brought up to expect (and have) orgasms; women are not.

The male orgasm has been considered as the focus of heterosexual intercourse with the female orgasm an optional extra. Women's sexuality has been defined in terms of male sexuality which has in turn been defined in terms of male orgasm. Women's sexuality defined by men, to benefit men, has been downgraded, repressed, channeled, denied and abused until women themselves have been thoroughly convinced of their sexual inferiority to men.

Women are not taught to view their sexuality as active but as passive. The myth that women's sexuality was dependent on men's was fostered by the separation of orgasms into clitoral ('immature') and vaginal ('mature' and male-dependent). Despite subsequent destruction of this argument, the view that women's sexuality is dependent on men's has persisted. This is compounded by misinformation and ignorance about women's orgasmic potential.

  • Women are multiorgasmic
  • Female orgasm is as much an identifiable entity as male orgasm
  • There are as many varied female sexual responses as there are women.
  • Anatomically all orgasms are centered in the clitoris.

Women's genitals are like women's faces - all of the anatomical parts are there but everyone looks different. The parts may vary slightly in size and position but like your facial features, size and position do not affect functioning. With a hand mirror, find the different parts of your genitals. Locate the outer lips which are covered with pubic hair. The inner lips meet at the top and attach to the clitoris. The clitoris is equal in sensitivity to the head of the male penis. Move back the soft folds of skin over the clitoris (hood) and examine the clitoris. It is the single most sensitive area to sexual stimulation although the whole area is sensitive.

What is an Orgasm ?

Basically, an orgasm is a physical experience, enhanced by psychological and emotional states. An orgasm may be mild or ecstatic. It can be brief, lasting only a few seconds, or as long as or longer than 30 seconds. The response cycle during orgasm can be divided into four parts but there is no discernible demarcation point between phases.

Drawing of flowers

First, there is an excitement phase when the body responds to some sort of stimulation, phsyical or psychological. Blood rushes into the clitoris or the penis (producing an erection). Nipples become erect, body muscles tighten. The vagina becomes moist, lubricated by fluid 'sweated' from the vaginal walls. Sometimes a sexual flush or rash may appear on the body.

This phase is followed by a 'plateau' phase. There is an increase in the rate of breathing and a corresponding rise in heart beat and blood pressure. The inner lips of the vagina change from pink to red as it swells, distended by blood. The clitoris elevates and there is increased involuntary muscle tension. The testes may also elevate and the colouration in the surrounding area deepen.

These changes build up to a climax of heightened feeling and body tension which suddenly releases and spills over into an orgasm - a series of genital muscular contractions that release the built-up tension. In the male this is usually accompanied by ejaculation, where the seminal fluid is forced into and through the urethra with contractions of varying force. The number of contractions vary wirh the intensity of the orgasm. The vagina goes into rythmic muscular contractions (which may be barely discernible) and the rectal sphincter muscles usually contract two or three times during orgasm.

Graph of male and female orgasms

The fourth phase is a period of resolution. In men there is a rapid reversal of the tissue and organ changes that occurred during the first three phases. In women, the resolution is much more gradual as the body relaxes. During the resolution phase, women may again become aroused and ready to orgasm. It is this ability that is called multiorgasmic. The whole genital area can be very sensitive after orgasm.

There is no wrong or right way to orgasm. Although the phsyiological process is the same, different people experience orgasms differently. Even : the same person will experience different orgasms at different times. The differences may be the result of many things: outside pressures, fatigue, whether you feel comfortable with your partner, length of stimulation and type of stimulation, are only some of these. Learning what your body responds to is one of the most important factors in exploring your orgasmic potential.

Probably the most common problem resulting from overemphasis on orgasm is impotence - most of the time this is unnecessary resulting from unrealistic expectations. Men can get just as much enjoyment from a sexual experience that does not result in orgasm as one that does. Men, however, often place too much emphasis on penile sensations and miss out on a lot of sexual experience.

Although some women orgasm through intercourse alone, trying to orgasm solely through penile thrusting in the vagina is for many women, analagous to trying to produce an orgasm in a male by stroking his testicles. It may feel good but will not generally produce an orgasm.

Your ability to orgasm is your own. It is not dependent upon anybody else's ability 'to give' you an orgasm. Orgasm is only one part of human sexual experience. It is by no means the central part. Explore your potential to orgasm and discover the range of experience that is unique to you. If you choose to share your sexuality with someone else, the most important aspect is communication, without communication the chances of learning each other's sexual response or of conveying your own needs and preference are slight. Do not expect to know everything, you can continue to learn as you explore, both alone and together.

Drawing of a tree

Thanks go to Denese, Veronica, Ian and Victoria WRAC Sexuality Week Supplement1980 Dunedin Sexuality Group Sexuality Booklet1976 Mike Capper and Diana Mansfield VUW Student Counselling Service