Salient. Victoria University Student Newspaper. Vol. 38, No. 18. July 23rd 1975

Would-be Student Writes

Would-be Student Writes

Dear Bruce,

How can emotive words found in the Concise Oxford English Dictionary express the feelings of shock, shame and total disorientation that I experienced when, after visiting the library lately to negotiate the return of three nine month overdue English books, I discovered that the campus has not been closed for the first six months of this University's academic year. Until Friday last my travels had seen me sipping bitters at Shannon, skolling at Sanson, pissed at Petone, and my indulgence in other cultural activities for the past seven months had effected my alienation from the circles of my more studious compadres. Last Friday I returned to the hussle and bustle of vanity life where friends in whom I once confided, greeted me and ridiculed my plight with such phrases as:

'Who are you?'

'When did you enrol?'

and - 'Have you got a ten cent piece for the machine?

Indeed a certain young man whom I will choose not to name (for reasons regarding his own safety) who originally had been so helpful as to inform me of the newly instituted Extended vacation period' strangely enough was nowhere to be found either in, such common haunts as Sociology, Shakespeare or SASRAC Tis but a sad state of if fairs.

To my horror I found that my examinations had already been held and chances of my receiving oegrotat passes were slim indeed! My reputation which formerly had afforded me the prestigious status of a head had now beem downed and as a result of this catastrophic turn of events I have now been rendered hopelessly, completely and irrevocably behind, not only in my University studies but also in my University 'life'; Shakespeare once said:

'If there be any good thing to be done
That may to thee do ease and grace to me
Speak it to me'

[Hamlet]

Oh for a student in the Cafe with integrity!

Yours faithfully,

Would-be Second Year Student (J.K.B.)

graphic with the word bang!