Salient. An organ of student opinion at Victoria College Wellington, N.Z. Vol. 2, No. 7 May 3, 1939
'I Do Not Eat Cake'
'I Do Not Eat Cake'
You've got to be something. I am a futilitarian. After seeing someone eating cake and studying Greek this seems as good a system as any to adopt.
But I was talking with a fellow [ unclear: f--]. His talk made me feel our philosophy has no bottom to it. "It's the autumn." he said, "makes you feel the futility of everything."
I don't know. I think we are both bad advocates for our school of thought. Because he is frightfully casual and Hays it's autumn and autumn is not permanent, and a philosophy not permanent is only a phase and phases are youth of course, and don't count. And I am a bad futilitarian because it is perfectly clear to me that there is the futile, and the non-futile. I am undermining myself. I am a cheat. I am supposed to be admitting the futility of all things. But I cannot. Because I do not eat cake over my Greek.
Oh, futilitarlanism is futile. I am done with it. What else is there?
I have been thinking. If I accept the futile, and the non-futile, I accept things as they really are, do not accept things as they half are, and consequently do not try to push the rest into shape. So by accepting things as they are, you see also that the futile and non-futile must surely maintain the balance of the whole—else the whole would have been overthrown long before now. This appears true. But then there is this: The system of acceptance is that of the idiot. The idiot is oblivious. By being oblivious he is accepting everything. For the man who is not oblivious to accept things in the way of the idiot and the child is obviously bad. He is being passive. He is being an idiot. And surely the way of men is not that of idiots?
But if I believe in there being some plan, equilibrium, some must be passive and others active. But why believe in passivity for myself, when I would not have others practice it because, according to the above, if all became passive, everything would flop? That means that if everything were the same. It would be bad. But If I am not doing anything active, how can I be sure or anything going right, when I am not sure of my blind faith in natural balance?
The only thing left to do is to accept the futile and non-futile and to suppose the futile can be changed so that its proportions are kept under thumb. Or is that misunderstanding futile altogether? No, because I am a futilitarian no longer, and when you are not, any little bit of logic will get you out. After all, they will only disprove you by another little bit, and what is that?
But this last thing entails the danger of preaching, which is hideous. Very well then, learn how to preach without preaching. And by that time you ought to be dead. Ah, what an infinite relief is the idea of death!!!
—C.F.
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