Chapter 16
Everything Has Changed

Perhaps I may be excused for lapsing into Latin — Tempora mutantur nos et mutamur in illis. There is nothing the same now as it was in my boyhood days. Some facilities, then necessary, have disappeared, and others taken their place. One necessary business operation that has changed perhaps more completely than anything else is the orderly and effective recording of outgoing correspondence. When I sat for the Civil Service examinations in 1885 precis writing was still a subject. There was then no practicable means of retaining an exact copy of one's letter, so a precis clerk was employed to condense long letters into a few lines, but still retaining the meaning and effect of the original. The press–copy machine and the letter book quickly ended the precis writing; and now the duplicating typewriter has ended the usefulness of the press copy process.

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In old Auckland water–troughs were in every street considering itself important. There the equine tractors satisfied their thirst. And there were hitching posts outside the hotels and larger shops where your steed could be tethered while you made your purchases.

Another departed helper is the old water stand–pipe about three or four feet high with a metal cup tied on to it so that all could refresh themselves with water straight from the Western Springs. Many, however, were not sufficiently refreshed to give them strength to turn the water off when they had finished, and there was considerable waste.

One of the smaller changes that affected me personally was the blacking of boots. As the eldest boy in the family, one of my loathed jobs was cleaning the family boots on Sundays. Most of the pavements were just yellow clay, though a few were coated with fine scoria ash. This clay clung “closer than a brother”, and had to be carefully scraped — and sometimes washed — off. Then Day & Martin' blacking was applied. This usually had to be held to the fire before it would yield a polish; but, if held a fraction too long, its shine was lost and one had to apply another coating. What has become of the old–time bootblack who used to sit on the edge of popular pavements with his gear and polish his “client'” boots for a few pence?

Other features of street business have disappeared, e.g. at Easter “One a penny, two a penny, hot cross buns”; and “Fish oh! All alive oh”.

Before the days of modern roasting ovens meat was cooked on a roasting jack. The joint was suspended on this contraption and hung up before the fire with a dish underneath to catch the gravy, and it was wound up so as to revolve very slowly. This gave all sides of the joint a fair share of the fire.

Within my lifetime the following fundamentally great and epoch–making inventions have been made — the bicycle, the telephone, electric light and power, internal combustion engines, aeroplanes, the cinema, wireless telegraphy, etc., and in the realm of psychology and religion the Y.M.C.A., the Boy Scouts, the Salvation Army, and many others — mostly originated in England.

That small changes may affect us personally more than some great ones is well illustrated by the bicycle. In my young days the “penny–farthing” was the only pattern. Mr. Harold Nicholson was the first to bring the new “safety” design with pneumatic tyres to Auckland about August 1893. When he lined up at the page 37 start of the three–mile race at the Amateur Athletic meeting in the Domain in September 1893 his attempt on this little machine to beat the lofty “penny–farthings” was well derided — if I may use this word in this connection. However, opinion quickly changed when the “safety” forged well ahead of the old machines. When the race was over the new bike was the centre of attraction, and many wanted to have a ride on it. Permission being granted, the aspirants gave the strong heave necessary for mounting the “penny–farthings”, the result being that some landed on their heads a few yards in front of “safety”, while others, with their weight too far back, pulled the bike over backward, giving it the curious appearance of a bucking bicycle.

But it is not only material things that have changed. The very appearance of people is completely altered. When I first took notice women wore crinolines vastly enlarging their apparent circumference near the ground, and with their skirts sweeping the pavement. Then they assumed the bustle, lending the appearance of fabulous flesh in the rear just below the waist. I hope that I have expressed myself with decency. Then came the abbreviated skirt reaching only to the knee. I was taught when young that the only time a gentleman should precede a lady was going upstairs, because, if he followed, he might get a glimpse of her ankles. This raises another question — have the Queen of Spain and other women got legs?

There was then no such thing as mixed bathing, and men and boys wore no clothing whatever, even in the public baths. Women wore a garment like an elongated nightgown. This sometimes got filled with air, and looked rather ridiculous.

The men usually wore full beards, partly because they knew that the more their faces were covered up the better they looked!; but after a while fashion decreed the practice of shaving, “whereby they imagined the handiwork of God to be not a little amended”.

Manners and customs have changed. Family prayers, and saying of Grace have gone off the programme of events, and attendance at divine worship is greatly reduced. Sunday dinner is no longer the best meal of the week, and “Sunday–go–to–meetings” no longer denotes one' best clothes. “The inspired comma” is no longer trusted.

I notice a lamented change for the worse in the attitude of businessmen to their customers. In times long past the tradesman tried to gain business by producing better and cheaper goods than those offered by his competitors. Nowadays he raises the page 38 price and reduces the quantity or the quality of his goods, and assumes the attitude of favouring his customers by letting them buy his goods. In every busniess there are three factors—proprietors, staff and customers, and the last is the most important. Any business that does not benefit and please its customers cannot succeed permanently.

One thing that has not changed is the manner of bad boys. I remember that the humble Chinese with his yoke, having a pannier suspended from each end full of vegetables for sale — one of which might contain “Callots; yong so yong” — was welcomed with “Ching Chong Chinaman, washed his face in the frying–pan, combed his hair with the leg of a chair, Ching Chong Chinaman”, or a Maori would be called “Mangu, mangu taipo”, or a young Jewish friend would be told “I took a bit of pork and stuck it on a fork, and gave it to the Jew boy Jew”, to which he would reply “I took a bit of beef, and put it on a leaf, and gave it to the Christian thief”. The milkman was called “chalky” on the theory that he thickened and whitened his milk with powdered chalk and collected his cream from the bottom of the can instead of the top.

Some expressions formerly quite common seem to have been dropped — for instance “Where did you get that 'at?”; “Get your 'air cut”; “Hold your hair on”; “Teach your grandmother how to suck eggs”; ‘How’ your poor feet”; “From the creation of cats”; “As sure as God made little apples”; “Half a loaf is better than no bread, but it' not better than a Government job”; “Just a little bit off the top for me” — suitable either for the barber or the dining table; “Not for all the tea in China”, which reminds me that within my own memory all tea came from China, and the price was a pound a pound. This precious stuff was kept in a small ornamental box called a tea caddy, the key or” which was worn by the lady of the house on her belt, and the making of a cup of tea was a greater ceremony than uncorking a bottle of wine. When tea came to be grown in India the price crashed back to about four shillings per pound, and merchants having large stocks on hand were at their wits' end to get rid of it. It became common to advertise “To be given away with a pound of tea” some article worth say 5s. or even 10s. In Ceylon I learned that the plant from which tea is derived is a camellia.

And finally, coming down to my little self, I am completely changed. When I was young I was never tired and always hungry. Now I am always tired and never hungry.

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