Falling Birthrate Arrested

A smart arrest by Constable Pilcher yesterday afternoon had its sequel in the Police Court this morning, when M. T. Cradles (alias Falling Birhrate), described as definitely not a domestic, appeared on twin charges of endangering the future supply of cheap labour and cannon fodder, and other treasonable offences. The accused entered a plea of guilty.

The prosecuting officer told the Court that the accused was the half-caste child of D. Pression and Fast Living. She had undoubtedly been associating with Communists, University Professers, the Unproductive Aristocracy, and other subversive elements. He emphatically denied that the B.M.A. had had any part in instigating the prosecution. This was a most serious case, he said, and he asked for an exemplary penalty. "Even the rabbits know better," he declared,

The accused made a brief statement from the hickory dickory, and pleaded for leniency. There were others more to blame than she was. For example, there were many who had discouraged and disheartened co-respondents by repeated and misguided attacks. The universities, too, were partly to blame, with their biology courses and the unromantic exposure of teh life forces. Sophistication was rampant, and certain people used certain things, and was it any wonder if the days of the tribe were disappearing? She was only an inevitable crinkle in the curvature of time-space. It was merely a mathematical anachronism that the number of persons on Oriental Parade at night divided by two was always an integer.

In entering a conviction the Magistrate first referred to previous statements of the law. "It is clear that this is an offence in the eye of the law. In particular I adopt the words of Pollock that depopulation is the greatest of political sins. But to adopt this dictum is not enough. Adoption is insufficient: we must produce for ourselves. Accordingly I declare that this is an offence in the eye ear nose and throat of the law. (Applause). It is not for the accused to question the ultimate purposes of the biological funtion. I observe with regret the mounting statistics of those who are out of their censers. In the interests of society I have a Dionnerous duty to perform. The accused will be committed forthwith to the ha'-pennytentiary."—E. Ratik.