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SMAD. An Organ of Student Opinion. 1936. Volume 7. Number 13.

Green Cheese

Green Cheese

Comrades—
Freedom (the Professor cried) for what I think.
Freedom (the Doctor cried) for what I say.
Freedom (the Student cried) for what I do.
The Professor and the Doctor rapped the Student over the knuckles and told him to shut up about freedom.

***

Sometimes It Happens.
Caller (Salesman): "Is your mother engaged?"
Urchin: "I think she's married."

***

Prof. Brown Again.
What did Mae West say to the milkman?
"Good morning."

***

Shades of Ethyl.
Why does the motorist like his girl friend streamlined?
Because her resistance is less.

***

Flit.
The Commerce student
Is a smug and
Self-satisfied insect.
He burrows like a tick
And ticks everything off
Except himself.
He thinks
Sapientia magis auro desideranda
Means
Audited and found correct.
Priggishly he
Comes to dances
Dressed like a gigolo
While honest students
Wear bags.
He stares at figures
And is in love
With cash
And concrete facts.
A slippery creature
Oozing importance,
Impudence,
And Imperialism.
In a changing world
He is
Very small change
Rattling in the pockets
Of Plutocracy.
He thinks
He keeps Capitalism going.
Capitalism only laughs
And lets his pocket rattle
Make large noises.

—P. B. A.

Beware!
Take care
Debonair
A Commissionaire is there.
O where
Watcher fair
Is this dread Commissionaire?
Thristing pair
As you dare
You may see his figure rare.
To your lair
As you share
Comes this confiscating bear!
You will ne'er—
Anywhere—
'Scape that "Prohibition" stare
So beware
Where you fare
Lest he grab you by the hair!
Take care
Debonair
A Commissionaire is there.

—Kaire.