Griffin Gulls His Guards.

Moving Story.

One day "Smad" went to a meeting. A nice-looking boy with a sad face gave him a paper, one side of which contained some bits of things about the war, the other side the doleful reporter used to draw faces.

"Smad" thought it must be a meeting of the Anti-War Movement, which seems to have been hibernating. It was—I mean it was a meeting.

Then a man called Freeman called a man called Free—ah! ah!—and he said bits of things about Abyssinia. There was a wicked villain in the piece called Muss O'Leeny, who wanted to have the Abysses in his debt, so he wanted the Abysses to have schools and bits of things; and to have schools (enter Prof. Kirk) they'd have to borrow money from Italy. So there you are. It's all solved. The whole of the situation in made clear, and the Ethiopians' skin didn't change after all, and the geography of East Africa wasn't important. Then Mr. Free sat down.

Then a rather inoffensive looking, most respectable man came forward. He was Mr. Griffin—the Mr. Griffin, don't you know—what?—yes!—the Mr. Griffin. To begin with, he told lots of funny stories about Australian politicians.

Then he began a moving tale of the Great Farce; how he, a mere innocent, had strayed into the fell clutches of Fascism and the powers of war; how he had fooled the whole of the Customs by a pair of Woolworth's 1/6 glasses; how the police had looked for him in a dust-bin and all the time he wasn't there; how he was in Australia and how he wasn't of moving mass meetings in Melbourne and slipping past spies in Sydney; how he was faced by the difficulty of a foreign language (even as you and I, dear reader).

Then he handed "Smad," who was lapping it all up, some real sob stuff: how he was arrested and tried; how the Movement wanted him to face the dread powers and be a martyr, and how he did how he and Kisch went to face the law together and won (Kisch cost s£1524 12s. 1d., but Mr. G. didn't know how much he cost).

Then Mr. Griffin (exit Prof. Kirk) sat down. Then Mr. McGhie asked some questions about bits of things. Then Mr. Brookie appeared in the doorway to see the reason for disobeying his light signals.

Then we went home.

And if the Anti-War Movement doesn't organise a bit better when they have such good speakers at hand and such an important doctrine to spread, then they, as a College Club, deserve to get the support they are getting.

—D.G.M.