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SMAD. An Organ of Student Opinion. 1932. Volume 3. Number 1

Fresher Lore

Fresher Lore.

Heigh, ho. Freshers! Heigh, ho! We're glad to see you, and hope you'll soon be of us as well as with us. To this end a few helpful hints:

First, let us survey the Precincts: That stately red brick pile, lying to the north-west of the Students' Association Building, is the College itself and vice-versa. The College is embossed with the paradox "Sapientia Magis Auro Desideranda," the answer being, "Oh, yeah?" This motto is, of course derived from S M A D.

Freshers may occupy any part of the Students' Building verandah, but may not enter the portico at the eastern end—there lies the garden where perennially nod and blow the Tall Poppies of the College.

In the College Library you read, in the Lecture Rooms you mark (or get, marked) and learn, and in the Cafeteria (we hope) you inwardly digest. Food should not be taken from the Cafeteria—hence the saying "immovable feast."

Freshers meeting a Professor in the corridors are expected to doff their hats and stand at the Qui Vive, with chest dilated and nostrils akimbo until the Presence passes.

Freshers are enjoined to refrain from mocking Professors; they can't help themselves—they are here to help you. Always remember that the Professor of a Faculty is not necessarily a Professor of faculty.

Cigarette butts must not be thrown about the corridors, but should be left with Brookie. By the way, Brookie does not collect cigarette coupons for flappers. (Honi soit qui mal y pense!)

Books may not be taken from the Library except by students taking them out. There is no exception to this rule, except the exception proving the rule, and that in this case is a legal fiction. (No reference to detective stories is intended).

Freshers will probably notice, without our saying so. that the Common-common Room is a very uncommon Common-common Room.

No, the escalator does not escalate; you must walk up and down, but only one way at a time.

In conclusion, verb, sap.: Do not thwart Brookie.