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SMAD. An Organ of Student Opinion. 1932. Volume 3. Number 1

An Apology for the Modern Woman

An Apology for the Modern Woman.

Dear "Smad."—

I never hear the ill-favoured rantings of those who decry the modern woman without a tightening of the oesophagus and a touch of nausea.

"She smokes!" they say, in derision. Well, what if she does? Her Elizabethan protoplasm smoked with gusto, and a gnarled old briar pipe at that, at which her fastidious modern posterity would turn up the nose of disgust.

I have seen nothing in the sacred or profane writings—though diligent have been my searchings— to convince me that My Lady Nicotine should be reserved for the exclusive delectation and delight of men only. If Nicotine is to be "verboten," why not tannin also? This is merely a rhetorical question by way of reduction ad absurdurn, and need not be answered.

"She drinks!" they exclaim, with an attempt at fine scorn. What then? "Take a little wine for thy stomach's sake" was not spoken of the soul, and though even in this day of grace it is still proclaimed in some quarters that Woman has no soul, yet thus far no one has been so rash as to extend this hasty generalisation to the—well, it's a delicate subject. Moreover, if "In vino Veritas" goes for women as well as men, then all I can say is 'Vive la vino!"

We men should take a broad view, and accept it as a graceful gesture to our excellence that our fair disciples are so disposed to ape us—no, I don't quite like that expression—anyhow, they must be on the right track.

Nevertheless, if I have a criticism to offer, it is that the modern woman, in snorting like a war horse at the so-called "double code" of morality, is tilting at a windmill, since no double code exists; the most we can claim between us is about half a code each, of which the woman, as usual, has the better half.

So there seems no ethical foundation for the objections to sharing these snug vices, whatever may be said against the vices per se; though, of course, our friends the ubiquitous Economists may point to the practical objection that the increased demand for the output of Bacchus Ltd. and Tobacchus Ltd. may increase the market price of the joys these firms purvey. Still (used adverbially), let us not beselfish.

Yours, etc.

,

Magnanimous.