Victoria University College Capping Programme 1931
Hints to Municipal Electors
Hints to Municipal Electors.
|(1)||Women! Vote for Miss Amy Kane. Aren't you tired of City Fathers? Let's have a City Mother. Miss Kane will reduce rates and increase expenditure.|
|(2)||Men! Vote for Hislop. He will increase rates, reduce expenditure, and run trams to the Upper Hutt every three minutes.|
|(3)||Do you understand the dead-cat menace? Purify the city's water supply by voting the Ratepayers' Association Ticket. Have you noticed that nasty taste in the tea?|
|(4)||Wouldnt you like a real Riviera Carnival in Wellington? The City Fathers dressed as comic constables and pelting pretty girls with confetti? Vote the Civic League Ticket and put the whizz in Wellington.page 16|
|(5)||Beer fountains in Willis Street? The three-hour day! Fireworks on Saturday nights, and a riot on Labour Day! The Fire Brigade will stunt at Kilbirnie Stadium every Tuesday, and tram races will be held down Adelaide Road every other afternoon. Vote Labour and get a free season ticket to Trentham.|
Write limericks on your voting-papers? Buck up the poor returning-officer. Here's a sample:
There was a young girl of Australia.
Who went to a ball as a dahlia,
When the petals uncurled,
It revealed to the world
That the dress as a dress was a fahlia.
Keep them clean though. Remember Mr. Tanner.
Support home industries. Write to our papers about the Municipal Elections! Swamp the "Dominion" and smother the "Post"! Criticise the candidates and scarity their speeches! Pick their policies to pieces! Can you save the country? Write to the "Dominion" about it. Do you know what's wrong with the world? Tell the "Post." The Editor's a Communist with a strong Conservative bias, so he won't mind what you say. Writer of the best letter will be awarded:
1st Prize—The Northland Tunnel.
2nd Prize—The new War Memorial.
|(8)||Why have a Censor? Make your Mayor let Wellingtonians see the naked truth! We can stand it. Vote for Vice! Plump for Prurience! Tip out Tanner!|
|(10)||Please kiss the returning-officer good-bye. He'll like it.|