Last year, in the June issue of "Spike," two would-be helpful members of society gave their views on Extravaganzas, and how they should be run. Now that the time has come to produce another Extravaganza I think some comment should be made about these articles. Both advocated that the Extravaganza should be a Varsity show, run solely for the amusement of the staff and students; in fact, one goes so far as to say that if the public does not like a 'Varsity show let it stay at home.

In theory this suggestion to run it for 'Varsity is excellent, but at V.U.C., where the College "spirit" —unlike the poor—is never with us, it would be impracticable.

The following few examples illustrate the lack of enthusiasm on the part of the students for College activities. The secretary of the Football Club, in the club notes in "Smad." tells us that even the members of the senior team have no compunction in letting their club down, if they have any other engagement on a Saturday afternoon. It is common knowledge that the women's junior hockey team invariably turns out with seriously depleted numbers, sometimes having as many as five players absent.

Another case, perhaps more analogous to the Extravaganza question is that of the Dramatic Club's performance in the Y.W.C.A. Hall last August. Although this proved a financial success, it was in no way due to the patronage of staff or students of V.U.C. A careful study showed that on both nights less than 10 per cent, of the audience comprised those connected with the College. There is every reason to believe, judging by their attendance at the dances and freshers' welcome address, that the staff are, if possible, less interested in the College than the students

Now, may I ask what would be the use of even considering putting on a 'Varsity show solely for the students while the conditions mentioned above exist In conclusion, I can only hope that these two enthusiasts are doing their little bit towards all College activities.

H.M.D.

May I be permitted to use your columns for the purpose of entering a protest against the methods adopted at the first meeting of the Free Discussions Club. The club held its first meeting for the year a little before Easter, and I went along to take part in the function. After some delay Professor Hunter entered. He proceeded to state that owing to the absence of the secretary a report and balance-sheet had not been prepared. The Professor then proposed that no report and balance—sheet be prepared until the time came when the club should apply to the Students' Association for a grant. This was agreed to without one voice being raised in protest. The next statement ran somehow as follows: "The committee has received the following nominations. . . ." A string of names was then read out. Curiously they coincided with the number of vacancies. I have no recolection of nominations being called for on any of the College notice boards. The Professor then asked if there were any further nominations. Not a voice was raised in protest or to nominate. The persons who were nominated in such mysterious circumstances were I lien declared elected. This concluded that part of the evening devoted to the Annual General Meeting. The farce had lasted not longer than five minutes.

I am net an active member of the Free Discussions Club, but I feel as a student that some protest should be made. The club is a student club, and the students are entitled to proper organisation. In the first place there should have been an annual report and balance-sheet, and secondly the trick of going to the meeting with all the vacancies carefully tilled is not one which commends itself to my mind. One would have thought that the power or powers that be in the club would be imbued with a little more of the spirit of democracy—or is democracy a fad of the past with some of our friends. Is the cry now "Democracy is dead; long live Mussolini—and his would-be imitators!"

Shepherds Of Sheep.

The present economic crisis is receiving wise and serious consideration from the gentlemen who so carefully conduct the affairs of this College. It is an unfortunate habit of some of our younger and more scattered-brained students to attack and vilify the white-headed protectors of our youth and in experience. Such an attitude is not only to be deplored but also to be condemned. The benefits which we received from the dear Professors are so many that the time has come for me to lift my student pen in the praise of my mentors.

Let us for a moment forget all pettiness and narrow-mindedness and look at the matter in the broad light of reason.

First the question of bursaries Could anything have been finer than that dignified march on Parliament? Do you forget the restrained but dignified protest written for the occasion by the revered Classicist. The opening words, "Hic bursarius necesse est ad omes pupillos," lit a torch which has blazed through the length of the land, not to mention the breadth.

Then, again, let us not forget the matter of fees. In other places places I have learnt you had to tell the authorities that you were in reduced circumstances, that you were suffering from "the cut," that your furniture was on the time-payment sstem, and so on. All was different at Victoria College. And our eyes shone with gratitude when we saw these words on the notice-board: "Fees may be paid in four equal quarterly payments on the 31st. day of March, May, July, and September." What generosity, what foresight in such a wise provision!

Another matter comes to my mind. In hard grasping centres of learning it is the custom to collect the fees for the November examinations on the 1st. day of July, and thus reap many months of interest on same. Not so at our Utopian school. We are to be given, we understand, until the 1st day of September to find sufficient funds to enter for the examination. Verily there be Daniels come to judgment.

I think I have said enough to convince you that the powers that be are devoted to our interests. Let me add one more significant point known to but few. Months ago, before there was an talk of salary cuts, our learned staff voluntarily gave up 10 per cent, of their salaries. O bon cives! O felix civitas Please keep this last unparallelled deed a close secret.

Cleanse Our Common Rooms.

It is with some temerity that I venture to lay before you the doubts and despairs of a fresher whose College career has been short but eventful. However, as the Editor has thrown open the pages Of "Smad" to all, I venture to address you.

I confess that Beverley Nichols, Coward and the Sitwells—those bright young people of literature—give me cause for doubt and despair; sometimes I doubt them, more often I despair of them, but still more often am I left dazzled and bemused by their intellectual fireworks.

I thought such people could be produced in England alone, but I must admit that I was appalled to find people of the same type at V.U.C. glorying in their "tranquil consciousness of effortless superiority."

For instance our aristocracy is composed of such people as Count Riske, of Russia, M.A*, Lord Reardon de Proportio Representatio, R.C *, Sir Pertinaciry Plank, C. of E.,* and My Gawd Scotney, K.C.M.G.,* of Training College—all less dazzling than Coward and Co., perhaps, but having the same unsettling effect on the very young.

With such people abroad how can the tired student restore his wasted tissues by restful contemplation of the scenes of beauty around him from the depths of one of the men's common room chairs—always assuming, of course, that our super-efficient executive and club committees have not omitted to return them when quite finished with. The general scheme of decoration and ornament is somewhat lacking, but I am assured by a tall, fair man, who wears a light blue suit, with a contemplative air, that the men's common-room is the epitome of modern decoration—all is left to the imagination. Here, I think, an injustice has been done to us poor, benighted individuals who have neither the brains nor the imagination of our aristocracy. The aristocracy can view the place in the light of a beer garden or heavenly palace, according to their respective beliefs (Haeremai Club or Christian Union), but we howling lowbrows cannot project ourselves away from these sounds of strife and the torn-up scraps of last week's "Truth."

Perchance you, gentle reader, may say: "Why not close your eyes, and, if necessary, your ears." To that I answer that the effects of some lecturers upon me are so soporific that I dare not blink my eyes within an hour after their lectures have ended, let alone close them. As to closing my ears, I answer only this: have you ever noticed the high quality of the yarns told in I the Men's Common Room at V.C.C.?"

Besides, we all know that Scotney has a persuasive voice, Benjamin an insidious one, and Crossley an unforgettable one. When all shout, one must, shout in self-defence, even though it may mean drowning Harry Read's flute-like notes. Then there is a bright chap whom all know as "Doug," Fabian hurtling here and there, and Duff fraternising with the enemy, as personified by Kennard, of the Trust Office. Follow we the smell of Hefford's pipe—a smell he never seems to quite catch up, worse luck—and we will join a group in which Bailey is unburdening himself about the dole to Ralph Hogg, of that ilk, not Bannister, whom unkind fate has presented with a rhyme "tin cannister."

These fine fellows may serve as a set-off against our pernicious aristocracy's crimes, but, in addition, these lordlings, in their lust for gold, have not hesitated to rain down raffle sheets "Thick as autumnal leaves that strow the brooks in Vallombrosa."

No sooner has a student met and surmounted the mountain of Boxing Club sheets than he is over- page 9 whelmed with Rowing Club sheets, till he would fain exclaim, "Hills peep or hills and alps on alps arise"!

I've not own a raffle yet, and an all-day student doesn't get much pocket money in his first year, and anyway, what is the use of a hamper to me? I get more than enough to eat in the Cafetaria.

*M.A., Morning After.

R.C., Recess Committee.

C. of E., College of Ejectors.

K.C.M.G., Kindly call me God.

Fresher.