Orchestral Rhapsodisings.

Take it on the whole, we have had an enjoyable half-year. Our chief cacophonist has brought us within an ace of keeping time together. Next year we hope to merit the title of "Synchronic Orchestra." For the present, however, people are unsympathetic enough to refer to our efforts as "chronic" though they have not gone to the lengths of calling them a "sin."

Our notable achievements this year include a Dramatic Club evening, the Extrav., and a tour of the city of Wellington with performances in the private homes of the performers. These fortnightly revels, we thought, might bring "home" the great masters to the unversed of our neighbourhoods. No doubt the impression we left was a lasting one.

I now append an impression of the Extrav.:—

A Voice: "Right!!! All together!! Three for nothing!" (Wierd noises become audible).

A Voice from Stage—terse and unsympathetic: "That d——d orchestra's here at last."

Passage of time. Enter shade of Wagner, who has arrived from Hades by the 8 p.m. volcano in time for the finale of Act I.:—"Das ist worse than Hades" (stuffs his fingers in his ears and turns to the shade of Mendelssohn):—

"Mendy, mein friend, who iss da perpetrator of all this?"

Mendy: "Waggy, old chap, this is your Bridal Chorus."

Waggy: "Mein——! Gott in himmel!" He swoons and Mendy carries him out.

Fortunately for the reader the manuscript is here undecipherable.

Before taking leave of the aforesaid reader, however, we must take leave of our popular conductor "Olly" Keys, and wish him "bon voyage" on his trip home, and "bonne chance" when he arrives on the foreign strand. We appreciate his work in building up our 'Varsity orchestra, and in the cause of music as a whole. "Olly" is a true music-lover and his work is therefore pleasant to himself and enduring in its result.

I can only remark pessimistically—"Who's going to carry it on?"