Birds of Paradise Lost.

I am no hot gospeller but I threaten to become one under the smart of the latest injury done to fellow inmates of this institution.

At 5 p.m. on the 13th day of August, 1930, some wight was y—pinning notices and other puffs extolling the Law Dance to be held on the 30th day of August, 1930, which notices had been dulv initialled as provided for by XIII. Eliz., Cap. 5, subsection 3H of "Instructions"—Pinners up of Notices for the use of"^*

These notices were of a rare beauty and power and their message found favour with such as pressed around the better to see; among these pressers was myself, but suddenly there was a cracking of fingers and I slunk away.

I was passing later when lo! the notice board had resumed its usual state of decorous imbecility —some thief in the night had snaffled those glorious notices. It seems that at last V.U.C. is developing something new, but I could wish that she had developed less noxiously. We have pests who deface walls and things in schools and other public places, pinchers of magazines from libraries, nay, even Plank's Potted Platitudes are not free from the filthy imaginings of Prurient Peters—but the doings of this Hategood stamp him as the king of antisocial pests.

This scullion, in his selfish desire to gloat over those unexpurgated works of art in the sly security of his den, has not dared to complete his full purpose when fellow inmates are around—the amoeba must sneak to the board while others are sent about their business, and bear off his fearful joys unseen.

By so doing he has delivered himself into the hands of Authority—the fiat has gone forth that none may dare hop, skip, jump, loiter or even walk in or around the corridors of this institution or any part thereof except at stated times.

This Edict has been defied, and loyal observers of the aforesaid Edict have a right to demand that the offender shall be punished for his contumelious conduct.

I admit that—

"Man like a pebble on a glacier moves imperceptibly but always down"^**

but the cheap skate has slid too far and should pay the penalty.

Let him take heed—Authority has been flouted, and what is even worse, inmates have suffered an injury from a quarter least expected.

However I am certain no purchaser of "Smad" could be guilty of such pusillanimous conduct, so I would urge it on the Students' Association and the Professorial Board that they should wage a holy war on this Philistine and devise some suitable form of punishment for him—perhaps they might suggest that he use his snaffling talents to provide crackers for the next Professorial Guy Fawkes Party.

—Ajax.

* * *

Very few weeks remain before the commencement of examinations. The first week of November will see hundreds of unfortunates more or less crammed with more or less useful information doing their best to impart that information to mysterious examiners. Doubtless we shall see the usual batch of blunders on the part of the officials who conduct examinations. Of a certainty there will be numbers who obtain their pass only after resort to a recount. Courage—better times are coming—or so we are told. Until then, good luck to all of us— we need it.

* * *

It is rumoured that Mr. Whitcombe has consented to record his laugh for H M.V.

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