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Victoria University College Capping Programme 1929

Apology

page 3

Apology

William Shakespeare, who (as every schoolboy will sooner or later learn) died some time before the presentation of "G.G.," would have liked to have written .this Extravaganza. Could he see it, he would swear it was the most remarkable play ever produced. Our Publicity Experts, who were so convinced of the excellence of "G.G." that they started advertising it before they knew anything about it, have expressed themselves in this fashion and roundly assert that Publicity never Lies. Nevertheless, We, who spent a whole half hour in writing the thing for a lot of lunatics who were confident that they could rush it on the boards in a fortnight, cannot help regarding the finished work with the bewilderment of a hen that has inadvertently hatched a baby crocodile.

Consider the defects of "G.G."! None of the things done in it ever happened; none of them could happen. None of the characters ever lived; none of them is likely to live; there is not a live individual among the lot. This faithless representation of life and love and laughter conveys no moral. It is destitute of the slightest pretension to an Underlying Philosophy. Heaven help us! An Extravaganza that does not possess an Underlying Philosophy is nothing but a joke!

"G.G.'s" sole claim to rationality lies in the purpose of its production, which is to express the unbounded relief of the poor, over-worked student at the thought that the Grand Escape known as Capping sooner or later comes to put an end to the seemingly endless tussle with the turgid text-book, the patient professor, and the excrescent examiner. The simple-minded business man who understands nothing that does not end with a cold metallic ring on the counter fails to grasp 10this idea and may be heard to piously ejaculate* as a Capping Procession passes by: "If this is a sample of Higher Education, then God help us!" The normal human being is larger of soul and eagerly congregates "to see those blank students make blanky fools of themselves." He that can wear his chains without worshipping them will comprehend the inner significance of the Capping Carnival and will forgive (if needs be) the so-called irreverence freely manifested during this season towards the presumed objects of popular idolatry. In this condition of mind and soul he may safely and without moral, political or religious disedification regard (not sadly, we hope") the absurdities, asininities, and monstrosities of "G.G."

The Authors.

page 4

*

*What are you doing? As I live
You're splitting an Infinitive!
Go! Get your little pot of glue,
And mend the wretched creature, do!"

Belloc.