Television

It has been said by men who should know all about it, even if they don't, that this world has nothing new; that all "inventions" have been already invented—have served a generation or two and then lapsed back into what we call the "unknown," which is merely a fund from which we can obtain new inventions—patent them—and then wax fat on the inevitable proceeds consequent upon exploiting the market. Evidence in support of this theory seems to be vague in the extreme, and we have only the word of the worthy expert who formulates the theory. Nevertheless, avenues of interesting thought are opened up, and broad vistas of the past open before us.

It is interesting to think that our remote ancestors had such conveniences as motor cars, and log tables, or such doubtful ones as radio sets, but did they have the advantages or otherwise that television would bestow? This television business is all very well if the "vision" part applies only to scenes which are carefully selected, but if television "microphones" could be made to show a large area, gone would be our priceless heritage of liberty and freedom. Many of the most interesting of the activities of man would be subject to checks which would seriously hamper his style.

The referee, whose position is even now almost untenable, would have thousands of armchair critics to satisfy, each of whom will have seen some horseplay, missed by the referee, or some perfectly good try which the referee has disallowed. The difficulty might be overcome in part, by the referee's sitting at home and viewing the match dispassionately per medium of the television broadcasting station, operating a whistle by wireless, when occasion arises. This would obviate the unpleasant little episodes of our present cumbrous system when the players or barrackers have the temerity to wildly disagree with the referee's ruling. Then look at the saving in grandstands and concrete terraces, consequent upon the crowd's "watching-in" from the fireside or summer-house as the weather may decide. Of course—and this would appeal to Dunedinites—there is the small matter of gate receipts, but true sport is not blinded by the cash returns and television should not interfere with the game on this account. I suppose the players could hardly perform their side of the business through the ether. Tackling a chap living in Oriental Bay from a back yard in Karori would be beyond a joke. By the time A got there, B might be over at Somes' Island.

But it is in connection with picture shows and similar places of doubtful entertainment, that the greatest difficulty would arise. One member of a family of six, might enter with a "microtelevisor" and transmit the picture to his stay-at-home relatives, with consequent disastrous results to the theatre owner's revenue. To overcome this, each purchaser of a 1/-ticket would have to be searched and ingenuity would be taxed to the utmost to invent an "unfindable" microtelevisor.

In the realm of crime—its detection and prevention—however, television would play a great part. A whole countryside would be watched by hundreds of page 54 watchers-in," and when the poor criminal at last crept out of the humble cottage, where the courageous daughter of the house had been hiding him, he would be detected by his foes and quickly run to earth.

The question of screening or insulation seems to be the most important item on the programme. It must appeal forcibly to most people that some scenes simply could not be broadcast. For example, that last good-bye stunt at the front gate, would be almost entirely eliminated, until some benefactor of humanity could invent some preparation that would act as an insulator or screen opaque to the searching eye of the microtelevisor. Soon the D.I.C. and other glad-rag merchants would be advertising—"Overcoats—guaranteed insulation," or "Wear Wawns Wonder Worsted; Won't Wash, Won't Wear, but Insulates."

Perhaps, on the whole, the best thing would be to prohibit television by making it a capital offence to see anything that is past our own noses. We would all certainly feel much safer, and anyhow, how could a man enjoy himself if he knew that his wife had his wavelength, and was "watching-in" at home?

—P.H.S.