In consideration of the fact that the power to gain a high reputation for learning, without an inconvenient amount of swat, is increasingly sought after, the "Spike" has gone to much trouble to get an interview with a man notably successful in this direction. And although our representative found it hard to gain access to this magnate, through a waiting crowd of clients, the great man, once reached, proved both courteous and communicative.

Asked how he would advise an ordinary student to set out on his quest for fame without pains, he replied that a wise concealment of all failures and a careful provision for the greatest possible number to hear of every success were absolutely necessary to start off such a career as his. At the same time, it might also be advisable, in the early stages, even to put a little real work into such exercises as could be most widely known, on the ground that one or two brilliant successes at the beginning are the surest way to win public favour and to make all later "crashes" seem due to ill-luck.

Proceeding, he said that, although a really clever hypnotist might attain great eminence without any taint of swat, the ordinary student would find a due appearance of study very useful. For this end he might choose to haunt the College Library, where a letter or a favourite novel might resemble, even to your nearest neighbour, a psychology paper or a Latin grammar. In passing, he remarked that a studious air and brown paper book-covers might here prove of the greatest service.

A like impression might be spread, he continued, if the student could get embroiled with his land-lady over the burning of midnight oil. Or, if he were boarding with others, turning on the light with a loud click at four o'clock every morning would be still more effective, while a scarf worn round the eyes, unseen by the gullible fellow in the next room, would prevent any loss of sleep.

The great man now declared that one of the most hopeful signs to the seeker after unearned admiration was that his friends should refer to him their difficulties in any subject, whether he has ever taken it or not; for a little ingenuity would make plausible answers easy. Indeed, common sense and interesting vagueness, together with such scattered facts as the idler gleaned from newspapers and historical novels, could make the toughest question just a stepping stone to wider praise.

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Referring, finally, to examinations, where the unromantic judges were content only with exact knowledge of set text-books, he admitted that these were the one great drawback to his cult. Indeed, he went so far as to own that, for a few weeks before his finals, even he himself had been driven to renounce his noble principles and sink to the level of a common swat. On the other hand, however, he concluded with a boast that from that day, although he has risen to the top of his profession, he has never again had to lower himself to such vulgar parrot-work. Which being so, he could not close without calling all ambitious young men and women in our colleges to witness so fine an example of the heights to be attained by those willing to sacrifice all the besetting impulses of a degrading industry, and to give themselves up, mind and soul, to the lofty ideal of toil-free self-advancement.—I am, etc.,

Bluff.