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The Spike: or, Victoria College Review, Annual Extravaganva July 1923

Caste of Characters

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Caste of Characters.

ACT I.—A Prehistoric Village in Gordzone Country.

Cast of Characters in the order of their appearance.

Sheezastunna (Queen of Gordzone Country)

Mr. A. J. Mazengarb

Paint the pretty face,
Dye the coral lip,
Emphasize the grace
Of her ladyship!


Wottabute Miss F. Churchill

The angels in pink and the angels in blue
In muslins and moires so lovely and new.


Yourethewun Miss T. Baldwin

Subjected to your heavenly grace (Poetical phrase)
My brain is turned completely.

—Utopia Limited.

Imeanother Miss M. Pigou

Attendants on Sheezastunna
A voice, whose every word and tone
Might make a thousand hearts its own.


Bill Mushie Mr. P. Martin-Smith

A clever spouter
He'll sure turn out.

—R. A. Millikin.

Tom Trillforth Mr. I. Hjorring

"Love you?" said I, then I sighed, and then I gazed upon her sweetly—
For I think I do this sort of thing particularly neatly.


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Hairy Harry Mr. N. Whiteman

Suitors of Sheezastunna
My mother bids me mind my hair.


Sir Robert Spout Mr. S. E. Baume

He was wonderfully active for so very stout a party.

Bab Ballads.—

Princess Ivanellovanitch Mr. K. L. Matthews

Go away, madam;
I should say, madam,
You display, madam,
Shocking taste.


Mayor Fright Mr. D. Veitch

Oh, innocents, listen in time,
Avoid an existence of crime,
Or you'll be as ugly as Im.


E. B. Takin Mr. A. W. Lawn

Prisoners up for Sentence
I shall tell him I've recovered my forgotten moral senses,
But I don't care twopence halfpenny for any consequences,


Court Crier Mr. J. L. McDuff

With no language but a cry.


Cavemen, Women, etc., etc.

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Act II.—Ancient Agypt.

Nevatite (Queen of Egypt) Miss M. Cooley
Tutankhamen (King of Egypt) Mr. J. B. Yaldwyn

He has an appointment particular very—
You'll find him, I think, in the town cemetery;
And that's how we came to be making so many.


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Osis Miss N. Glover

In virtues nothing earthly could surpass her
Save thine "incomparable oil," Macassar.

Don Juan —

The Dancer Miss T. Baldwin

O among the dancers peerless,
Fleet of foot, and soft of eye!


Enos Miss M. Pigou

A timid tender
Feminine gender,
Prompt to coyly coo,

—The Grand Duke.

Oris Mr. A. W. Free

Alan, whose "brow was shaded
By locks of glossiest jet,"
Whom almost any lady'd
Have given her eyes to get.


Fanbearers Miss Godfrey & Miss M. O'Shea

Please look at us and you will see
What good young ladies ought to be!

—Utopts, Limited.

The God Opah

He never smiles and he never speaks;
He might go on like this for weeks.

—J. K. Stephen,

Attendants, Soldiers, Pallbearers, Dancers, etc., etc.

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Act III.

Queen Elizabeth Mr. N. L. Knell

Oh! 'tis a glorious thing, I ween,
To be a regular Royal Queen!
No half-and-half affair, I mean
But a right-down regular Royal Queen.


Bessie Throckmorton (Attendant on Queen) Miss M. Morpeth

Thus always it was ruled:
And when a woman smiled,
The strong man was a child.
The sage a noodle.


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Sir Walter Raleigh Mr. A. W. Free

I thought 'twas Venus from her isle,
And wondered where she'd left her sparrows.


Earl of Essex Mr. H. Adams

A little, curly-headed, good-for-nothing,
And mischief-making monkey from his birth.


Innkeeper Mr. Henderson

Lo! with a voice unspeakably dramatic,
Lo! with a gesture, singularly fine.


Landlady Miss G. Aplin

Lords and Ladies in Waiting, Musicians, Villagers, etc., etc.

Act IV.

If you ask the special function
Of our never-ceasing motion,
We reply, without compunction.
That we haven't any notion.


Lady Miss M. Morpeth
Gentleman Mr. A. W. Free
Singer Mr. W. Watkins
Dancer Miss M. O'Shea
Dance Duo Mr. W. Watkins & Miss G. Barnsdale

Sheezastunna, Queen Elizabeth, Nevatite, Tutankhamen and other characters as for preceding acts.

P.J.G.S.: Alas! the general public is very apathetic about letters to the paper. Pearls before swine. You are treading the paths of bitterness already followed by Henry Bodley and Professor Hughie Mac.

P.M.S.: Yes, Jose is an awfully pretty name; but should you say so much about it?

S.F.: We presume this was the same Strephon of whom you wrote: "And though 'tis true in love and war, that men will all things dare,

Their means will surely not be foul, when led by Sergeant Fair"?

F.H.H.: No; it was not fair comment to say of you;

"H. was the next to arise; and he made us a crushing oration,

Crushing, but pointless withal, like a seventy-ton hammer."

We agree that £500 would be hardly any solatium.