page 57

Science Jottings

Physical Jerks.

Advanced Physicists please note:—

"Brick Avails a lecture room do make,
And shaky desks a seat,
Wherein, whereon, we sit in awe
At our Professor's feet."

(Adapted in the light of recent physical research.)

* * * *

The Physics Department have now entered into residence in their new wing with a lecture room built for two. Visitors are welcomed at our new address any time during lecture hours. During the first "At Home" several workmen evinced a desire to see what a Physics student really looks like during a lecture, and calls were frequent. There is a persistent rumour that the wing was christened in the good old style with a bottle of wine. ("What was in the glass Prof.? Yo ho! for the jolly hemlock!)

We learn with pleasure of the fact that recognition is at last being made of the value of scientific training. First, we get a new winjg, and then one of our number had conferred upon him the magnificent title of "Toiler" as an examination code word. Did he pass? What about it Beatle? 'Old 'ard, thou'rt blushing!'

We have a poet in our midst—at least the imagination is there, although no verse has yet appeared. Anyhow, at a recent picture show of physical apparatus J—o amazed the assembled masses by his knowledge (?) of what the different gadgets were for. Physics students wishing to borrow apparatus from chemistry students may have the use of our tame pugilist as escort at a moderate fee.—Buck up Robby! He may also be used in a defensive capacity in the event of any marauding chemists coming down to the Physics Lab. to rob in some way. All monies so collected to be devoted to physic(s) (quite possibly for the pugilist).

After watching the awful efforts of some students in the Laboratory, we think it high time a few good rules were formulated, for the benefit of those misguided creatures who wish to weigh things instead of guessing and obtaining 1 per cent, results. Here are our efforts, which are perhaps nearly as bad as the weighing:—

page 58

(1)	Don't touch weights with the fingers. You may put grease and rust on them.
(2)	Don't let the balance swing too much, or you may misread 'er position of rest.
(3)	You cannot expect to get good results unless you add the weights (w) right.
(4)	Don't drop weights on to a watch glass—they are brittle and easily broken.
(5)	Remember it's good weighing that nearly kil(l)s by the anxiety of the possibility of a good result, the genius (?) of many a man otherwise quite normal.

Students are reminded that if, owing to an unfortunate night out, they oversleep themselves on 8 o'clock lecture mornings, there is no need to stop for a wash before dashing up to the lectureroom. Relative humidity, 100 per cent, (nearly)—baths automatically carried on while listening (?) to the Professor's remarks. It has been suggested that Christian Science be taught, with a view to helping students to imagine themselves warm on the same mornings, and to save the expense of heaters. (This point has been referred to the C.U. C/o Mr. R****n.)

At all costs, don't catch cold V**a.

* * * *

Great Vaudeville Announcement!!!

Food and Wen!!!

Food and Wen!!!

Food and Wen!!!

We have much pleasure in announcing that for

One Week Only

Food and Wen will give a rendition of that classical duet

"We 're for Ever Blowing Bubbles"

In the Open Air Stadium of V.C. at 1615 G.M.T.each day. Free to all comers provided they suffer in silence.

Fisykz. Dept.,
Manager for Food and Wen.

* * * *

And look what's here!

Coming Soon!!

Also in the sam(e) oL' place mentioned above

The Marvellous Magician
Mill! Mill!!Mill!!!

'Ard to beat at the spook stuff, in his hair-raising stunt entitled "Counting with e's"

(Special for B. Corns., etc.) Miss this and be blighted for life.

page 59

We have much pleasure in announcing, for the benefit of chemists and such like, the issue of a new correspondence course entitled:

"Cooking."

(By Robin jack and Sonsquared.)

These men are experts in their line; let them teach You how to cook results. Remember, your future rests with yourself alone, so don't hesitate!!! Write Dept. "Lanibdacubed by S" Today. Scale of fees strictly according to Stefan's law. Endorsed by leading professors, etc.

At a recent meeting of the Physics Department a vote of confidence was passed in the spelling ability of our chief chemist. However, we still welcome suggestions for the spelling of "Raoult." For the best idea—plain or fancy—a prize will be given (possibly); all entries must be in by February 29th, 1953—judging and adjudication by the Very Best Reader at College, whose decision will be final.

* * * *