Re Ward.

Lost.—A Skull Cap. Apply to Rev. Martin-Luther-Smith, College Library.

* * * *

Wanted: A Second-hand Dress Suit, for elderly duchesse. …,

"Evening Post."

Still another sex problem !

* * * *

Wanted Known: "Monro Doc(g)trine." No dogs shall be allowed in the lecture-room.

(Dachshund uber fox-terrier.)

* * * *

For Sale: A Second-hand Girl's Overcoat. Apply—, "Evening Post."

Poor girl ! One of J. E. B.'s old friends, we expect.

* * * *

Lady Clarke divorced her husband. Sir Rupert Clarke, in Melbourne decently.

Just what a lady would do !

* * * * *

440 Yards Championship: W. Candy (Wellington), 1; A. Doel (Auckland), 2; M. Grierson (Auckland), 3. Won by five years. Time, 52 2-5 sec.

We wonder if the second man could race the new wing.

page 50

The retiring Mayor (Mr. W. H. Jackson) probably feels that he cannot do justice by his position as headwaster of the District High School while occupying the position of Chief Magistrate.

Surely a case for impeachment (of waste)!

* * * *

Funeral Card.

The Funeral Card of the late Mrs.—will leave her late residence, to-morrow, Tuesday, at 2.30 p.m., for the Cemetery. Karori.

Getting ready, doubtless, for the Last Trump.

* * * *

.... A tine 22 ft. high Monolithic obelisk. The stone already bears sixteen names of dead soldiers inscribed in guilt.—"Grey Evening Star."

Worthy of diggers from the Gold Coast.

* * * *

That the spirit of the sea is not lacking in New Zealand has recently been exemplified by a locally-owned barge being fitted up to take young New Zealanders to train as officers to man our merchant vessels.

No doubt for the Christchurch Ship Canal, which Doc. Thacker is always barque-ing about.

* * * *

Longburn Handicap.

1000 miles. List of Acceptances.

Are you long-winded enough for this, Tommy?

* * * *

Dr. Hertz, Chief Rabbit, preached to a crowded congregation at the Synagogue, this morning.

Lettuce pray!

* * * *

D.I.C. requires Pantrymaid, and Two Girls for Sandwiches. Apply Manageress.

Something sweet and spicy. Personally, we prefer a vegetarian filling