page 23

Quarrel Duet

Air: "I don't want to play in your Yard."

J.G.:
While war reigned chaotically
Be-All and I
Quite patriotically
Let parties die.

B.A.:
Then to the Motherland
We sailed away;
Left Allen in command,
Red Feds, to keep at bay.

J.G.:
Kaiser's invincibles
Conquered have we;
On other principles
We can't agree.

B.A.:
Problems most intricate
Still we must solve;
Let us not vacillate
Nor party strife involve.

J.G.:
You're a dawdler, Be-All Massive,
Your reforms are all too slow,
While the people starve you're passive—
What you need is Liberal "go."
I should nationalise the coal mines,
Have State flour mills, boats and banks,
Build cheap workers' homes in whole lines,
Legislate to suit all ranks.

B.A.:
Job Gone, you've foolishly
Spoilt the whole plan;
Since you've mulishly
Split up the clan,
This opportunity
Labour will seize,
Then the community
How shall we squeeze?

J.G.:
People implicitly
Trust Liberals' cause
(We won't illicitly
Gloss profit laws).
When the returns come in
We'll top the poll;
Squarely we'll try to win
Justice for the whole.

B.A.:
J.G., you're a bally turncoat;
Interests you have sought all through,
page 24 Or to run a kitchen tea.
But the culminating blow,
Anna Stout's idea, you know,
Was Stat. 14, Maud c.3.
Which enacted that each person.
Whether dotard, nursed, or nursin',
Be enrolled M. P. apace.
And it let the mere males come.
So that we could see them home.
Thus we've put them in their place.
So come, won't you come to Parliament?
For it costs you not a cent;
Come and teach them why you're sent,
With your powder-puff and scent.
To Parliament.