All:

Three doughty moderns here you see—

Japhetrow's Peace Society—

Embarked as Henry Ford might be—

Our Ark a model Tin-lizzie! (Honk! Honk!)

Shem: The Bolsheviks were out to smash!
Ham: The horrible Hun to biff and bash!
Japh: I'll keep an eye upon the cash!
All: Japhetrow's Peace Society.
Japh.: My father sailed the "Mayflower" Tub,
Ham: His great grandfather kept a Pub;
Shem:

His earlier forebears used the Club

To keep the peace 'f antiquity.

Japh.:

Ah, man, they were pugnacious men!

They taught Japhetrow that the pen

Would never keep (while men were men)

The world safe for Democracy!

Ham:

The war is over! Now I'll gorge

Myself in spoil till you may forge

From Teuton Ham a Tab-loid George!

All: Behold rewarded's piety!
Ham:

My resolution's undestroyed,

Intentions all quite unalloyed,—

Yet I've inside an aching void

Unfilled by this society!