The Conquering Heroes.

Air : "See the Conquering Hero Comes."

Welcome to Joseph and salaams to our Bill.
They've been 12,000 miles and have not been ill.
All of the world has heard of Joe's exploits,
And as for William—think of his deck quoits!

So welcome to William and Kow-tow to our Joe,
Greatest of mortals and oppression's greatest foe!
Look how they shrink in charming modesty,
How truly Irish is the attitude you see!

So Welcome to William and salaams to our Bill!
Hail to the travelers who scorned to be ill!
All of the nations list to Joe's exploits,
And hail to the warrior, the champion at deck quoits.