The Spike: or, Victoria College Review 1912
Dear Mrs. Spike,—
May I write you a gossipy letter? It's ages since I wrote last, but I'm sure you don't mind that; perhaps you are glad. However, I thought to myself, "It's never too late to mend." So I began reading up the "Ladies' Column" and the "Women's World" in our intellectual dailies to acquire the correct style for a social letter. It appears that if one cannot truthfully be called pretty, one is described as "charming." If one's frock is merely muslin, it is "girlishly dainty." If an afternoon party is dull, it is "most enjoyable"; if there is bridge, it is "smart." The more minute the details of dress and the more intimate the descriptions of a drawing-room, the better the report. Well, after studying this kind of thing for one day (two morning-papers and one evening), I arrived at the conclusion that after working under Professor Mackenzie for two years, I could not spoil the purity of my English prose, so I shall cease to aspire to be "correct," and shall give an account of things in (to use a Froggyism) "my own bright, unexpurgated style."
Well, we have had some very delightful dances this year. All the usual people there, all the usual chaperones, all the usual lavish decorations, all the usual things for supper. The Men's Common Room Club gave one sign of life—a dance in the first term. It was a very jolly one, a striking feature being some unusual programmes, with pictures on them. Then came Capping. Words fail me with which to describe the brilliant scene. There were strangers there, heaps of them, many noticeable for their elegent toilettes, many for their variegated sox. This term the Cricket Club gave a dance, an awfully swanky one. The gym was decorated with flags (rather passé, certainly), and the chaperones had a carpet and an electric heater in their usual corner! The Glee Club intends giving a concert and dance after term exams., and this reminds us of a grievance. The Women's Common Room wants a concert, but the Profs, unkindly refused permission. We want some new furniture and rose pink electric light shades, and all the comforts of a home, but we cannot afford them. So we shall apply early next year, and we are sure to make lots of money, because a College girl should be given every opportunity to enjoy the refining influence of home life, and the sweet, womanly ease of a drawing-room, but how can we when everything in the Common Room is old and ugly, and used by everyone else whenever there is any function?
Isn't it lovely our having lockers in the Cloak Room? They don't lock, certainly, but they Look very attractive, and are quite a credit to the students who made them, to whom our thanks.page 60
I hope the winding-up social is a success, which means being interpreted, I hope it's a dance.
By the way, I've heard of two engagements, Miss G.Williamson to C. H. Taylor, and Miss N. Hunt to T. Brooker.
Ever your affectionately,