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The Spike: or, Victoria College Review, June 1910

Officers' Training Corps

page 36

Officers' Training Corps.

"It isn't my fault if I dress when I 'alt."—Kipling.

"I observe that you carry a stick," I said, as we walked to the parade ground.

"Yes." was the reply. "You see, there is a tradition about these things. You have doubtless had it brought under your notice, just to take a couple of examples, that barristers wear wigs in Court—though that's more of a rule than a custom—and that engineers wear their finger nails in mourning."

"I was once foreman of a jury." I said. with a little of the pardonable pride that never deserts Inc. and my father-in-law has been recently taking his meals—"

"Exactly," he interrupted me. "Well, it's the same with us. If you haven't got a moustache, grow one."

"And if you can't grow one. I suppose, you use a stick?" I ventured.

"Thank you." he said, "you have said what my complete lack of false modesty forbade my saying. Now, Atkinson affects both, and in that respect may possibly be considered even more of a soldier than I am. Short, like me, has no moustache, but then he has the hauteur of a Field-Marshal—he has not been known to speak to a civilian for six months —and so he makes up for it in other ways."

"One of my favourite proverbs." I remarked, "points out that in the blackest of outlooks there are very frequently compensations."

"You are right," he said. "And there are other things," he continued, "until, altogether, the mere civilian can have no idea of the difficulties attaching to the position of an officer. To take one example only, such a lot depends upon the tone—"

"I can readily understand." I interrupted, "that the tom, of the officers greatly reflects itself in the men."

"For once I suspect you to mistake my meaning. I was about to say that a great deal depends on the tone in which the commands are given. The inflection of voice with which the command 'Right (or Left, as the ease may be) wheel' is page 37 given when correctly delivered, may be classed with the playing fields of Eton as being one of the greatest causes of the success of our arms."

"You surprise me!" I exclaimed.

"No doubt; yet that is the fact. But here we are at the parade ground.

I have since thought I must have imagined the whole thing; for I can give no explanation of the presence of Sir Joseph Ward, nor can I say why I, who do not usually aspire to such things, should have addressed him, and then with such an inane remark as, " Hullo, you here too!"

"Yes," he said, "I am here, and I wish the people of this Dominion as a whole would come along and see our Cubs at play. I have long looked forward to the day when it might be said-and I think it may now be said-that each of the self-governing dependencies of the Mother Country is co-mutually doing their share of the defence of the Empire as a whole."

My eyes at this point sought rest on the drill. No. 1 section apparently consisted of five men, and the Sergeant was considering how to divide them into two two-rank squads each under the command of a non-commissioned officer. The drill book, I have since heard, does not tell you how to do this, and the Sergeant, being a man of resource, abandoned the attempt. The inspection which followed was, I should hope, not the lightest of the Captain's tasks. He has to pretend that Private Brown, about the state of whose rifle the two are conversing in an undertone, is not a great friend of his. He has also to forget that, when in an hour's time the Articles of War are suspended and the two go home to breakfast together, the Private will collar all the Captain's eggs and bacon if too much is said about his rifle. The Captain does not forget this, and his face twitches.

My lay eye could not see exactly bow the Company got into line and moved towards a flank, but even it was good enough to pick up the ripple which Kipling says goes down the line of every well-trained regiment on the march. I realised with a compelling force never before experienced how terrible a thing war is. I also made what I believe to be an entirely new discovery in geometry, namely, that two parallel lines will, under certain circumstances, meet, even without being produced. This led me to remark to Sir Joseph that the corps was: I thought, doing wonders.

page 38

"Yes." was his reply, "I think we are now so placed as that the result is that we are in a position in which we can say with truth, not less to the Lion Mother herself than also to the people of this Dominion as a whole. 'Do not be afraid of invasion any longer.'"

"What do you think of the Captain?" I asked.

"He fills a difficult position well," he replied, "if you will pardon my using so short a sentence. "I know of no position. unless it be a Captain's, in which you have to take such care to avoid being considered even for a moment to be laying yourself open to the imputation of so conducting yourself as that people might say: 'He does not know as much as his subordinates.' "

"There is an element of truth in your remarks," I rejoined, "but I have to go." and, walking to the Captain. I said. "Thanks very much for letting me look on at your drill. It cannot, I think, be denied that if the fate of the Empire depended upon the Officers Training Corps there could be no doubt whatever as to the result. But my difficulty is that, I am supposed to write a report of your work during the last few months."

"Will this do?" he asked, as he handed me a piece of paper almost illegibly written upon.

"I think so. Thanks," said I, as I read the following:—

Decorative Border

The membership of the corps is now 116.

A camp was held at Christmas on the Wanganui River, and was attended by 35 officers and men. These 35 (minus officers), became proficient hewers and drawers of water and partially proficient soldiers. Trench digging was undertaken by Major Lascelles, who dug several of these little depressions with the assistance of the men under his command.

I was asleep during the lectures.

The annual camp was held at Trentham, in February, and I had a tent to myself. The attendance was over 70; used to turn the men out in their shirt sleeves in the early mornings for company drill. Temperature, 34£, wind, S.S.W. A large programme of work was gone through. No liquor allowed in this camp, Not allowed to go to sleep at lectures

Entertained (good wood!) from Trentham to Kitchener Camp at Johnsonville, a pleasant little village in the hills. Wind, N.N.E., rain, 4 inches. Led attack on evening's position and took lunch there. Biscuits excellent this camp! so ate Atkinson's too.

page 39

No liquor allowed at this camp.

Miss Barkas presented silver cup to Corporal Oram for his shooting.

Mr. A. Lewis' bowl for shooting was won by Private Caldwell.

Trophies presented by the ladies of the Hostel, and Mr. F. A. Wilson, were won by Private Cockerill.

A trophy was presented by Mr. J. W. Ross, and won by Private A. G. Brockett.

The shooting team won the Haslam Shield for the year in a competition with Canterbury College O.T.C., also the third class championship and cup, and the young soldiers' competition.

The corps owes its greatest thanks to Staff-Sergeant Major Rose for his trick of making soldiers out of mud in a manner most pleasing to the mud.

I have been pleased to notice some promotions in the Non-Com.'s. Owing to the retirement of Colour-Sergeant Henderson, Sergeant Skinner and Corporal Brodie. The non-commissioned officers are now as follows: Colour-Sergeant Rider; Sergeants Fair, Russell, Holinden, and Lyon; Corporals Oram, C. Strack, Nicholls, and Rijemond; Lance-Corporals West, Kibblewhite, Quick, and Ward.

Appended are the scores in the Haslam Shield match.

Victoria College.
200 500 600
yds yds yds Tl.
C. Strack 22 31 26 79
Cockerill 30 28 26 84
Jordan 2 19 29 80
Oram 3 31 32 96
Sansom 22 25 39 77
Short 29 26 21 76
Caldwell 32 33 27 92
G. Strack 26 30 19 75
226 223 210 659
Canterbury College.
200 500 600
yds yds yds Tl.
Archey 23 27 27 77
Cross 21 23 15 59
Rhodes 29 13 8 50
Smith 24 26 23 73
Gibson 28 30 21 79
Barnett 26 28 21 75
Chrystall 25 28 31 84
Hutton 1 2.7 25 83
207 202 171 580