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The Spike or Victoria College Review, June 1905

The Debates

page 25

The Debates.

At the first meeting, W. Perry with the calmness, if not the readiness of a veteran speaker, moved a resolution apprehending dire results if the ultimate issue of the present war is in favour of the Japanese. The speaker seemed to find inspiration in the manipulation of his watch chain, and this tided him over some difficult places. P. W. Robertson followed in reply, arguing on the authority of a "bagman" who has written a book on the subject, that fear of Japanese competition is a mere bogey. This authority and the fervid eloquence of V. B. Willis was sufficient to defeat the motion.

At the second debate, R. Mason endeavoured to prove "That the concentration of population in cities is productive of mental and physical inferiority." He quoted numerous figures, as was fitting in the head of the Society's treasurer, but his speech would have been more interesting if he had given rein to his imagination instead of so closely confining himself to detailing statistics.

F. P. Kelly, on the other hand, refused to take account of figures as he considered like old Gorgon Graham that "If figures don't lie, it's only because they can't talk." By a piece of special pleading, he appealed to his audience to say whether they would dare to deny the superiority of the charms of the city ladies to those of their "country cousins," though he admitted that it was alleged the aforesaid charms were due to Art and not to Nature. In the face of so large a number of ladies the audience did not dare deny it, and the motion was defeated by an overwhelming majority.

At the third meeting, the proceedings took the form of a "Mock Parliament," all members of the Society being, for the nonce, members of the House of Commons. A. Tudhope, as Premier, introduced a bill to abolish the House of Lords, substituting in its place an elective Chamber. H. Vickery, in a style which appeared to be carefully modelled on that of the noble lord who proposed the bride's health at the wedding party in "David Copperfield," opposed the bill as Leader of the Opposition. He was supported by J. Davie and W. Gillanders, while E. J. FitzGibbon and J. A. Brailsford were members of the Government. That well-known authority 'Taswell-Langmead' having been frequently cited FitzGibbon claimed page 26 to be a higher authority still and to prove it, gave an historical disquisition on the House of Lords, which would have saddened the heart of the College lecturer in Constitutional History. The Clerk of the House as 'custos rotulorum' referred members to the records of the Honourable House for authorities; the effort was evidently too much for him, for he shortly afterwards disappeared.