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The Spike: or, Victoria College Review, October 1904

Capping Carnival

Capping Carnival

"Let everything bear witness we are merry."

—Withker.

"We'll hae a nicht o't, and sae we hed."

—Ian Maclaren.

Sydney Street Schoolroom was again packed to the doors to witness the students disport as only the species can on this particular day of the year. The proceedings opened with "a speech from the throne" in which O. N. Gillespie, as the Colony's regal representative, treated a somewhat puzzled audience to some substantial imaginings.

"Have you the lion's part written? pray you, if it be, give it me, for I am slow of study.
You may do it extempore, for it is nothing but roaring."

—Midsummer Night's Dream.

Following "His Excellency" the stage was taken possession of by a startling apparition, presumably a guardian of the law, who, in tones as wild and fearful as his appearance, hurled an ingeniously amended Riot Act at the quaking inmates of the hall. The audience, however, steadily disregarding such threatening injunctions to "disperse quietly to their homes" heroically remained seated. It may safely be said that the Riot Act was never read to a more meek and inoffensive gather page 49 ing. Then followed a fantastic skit on the yellow question, in the course of which the Rt. Hon. Joseph Chamberlain, admirably represented by A. H. Johnstone, sought to elucidate the local labour problem by the wholesale and visible introduction of celestial hordes.

"Let me not hold my tongue, good Hubert."

—King John.

The Premier, who cut a truly Seddonian profile, but whose full-face view, so to speak, exhibited a strange narrowness, as well as a striking resemblance to H. H. Ostler's, contrived to interlard his effusive welcome to Jo. with some fine healthy samples of Seddonian self-esteem. Sir Joseph Ward, with the nimble tongue of J. Graham, joyfully seized the opportunity to harangue the distinguished visitor with his latest achievements in tots; and the lachrymose countenance of "the people's George" grew pathetically moist (O crocodilious Tud- hope !) at the grisly reminiscences and unconscious selfdisclosures trotted forth for Jo.

"And still they gazed, and still the wonder grew
That one small head could carry all he knew."

—Goldsmith.

Still more effusive was the welcome bestowed by the garrulous member for Taranaki, who, in the person of A. G. Quartley, masqueraded in one of the best make-ups of the evening. The honourable 'E. 'M in no way abashed by the hauteur of the victim, supplied his guest with a most bountiful stock of ferocious egoism, supplemented with offers of sundry "iron" instruments, not "made in Germany."

La fleur! Quelle fleur? Gilly fleur!

Further hospitalities were indulged in by the worthy mayor, who posed in a fine and seemingly practised manner as the "catch" he proclaimed himself to be, by the Hon. C. H. Mills, (G. G. Smith as "King of the Cannibal Islands")—ubiquitous—and collared, and by Dr. Findlay, who, if somewhat indistinct, certainly looked his part.

"Right hard it was for wight which did it hear,
To rede what manner music it mote be."

—Spenser.

The musical section of the performance was mainly contributed by the Glee Club, who, under the able guidance of F. P. Wilson, furnished surprising suggestions of subtle melodies, and reeled off rhymed criticisims on all and sundry objects of their attention with the most refreshing candour, page 50 their efforts in this respect being generously described by the worthy "Times" reporter as "distinctly above the average of such productions, though the metre somewhat resembled turnips being rolled over a barn-door floor." Kow-tow to thine own turnip, worthy critic. An Epitaph awaits thy honourable self.

"Here's a good world,
Knew you of this great work ?"

—King John.

An uproariously mirthy farce, in which the vicissitudes of Muffington Crumpets, a retired baker, were humorously displayed, concluded a most varied programme, and reflected great credit on the "practised femininity" displayed by those members of the sterner sex, who paraded for the occasion in unaccustomed garments, "as to the manner born." Letitia, (S. Grundy) whose get-up was indisputably chic, and whose graceful symmetry of mould almost moved an admiring audience to tears, gave a vivid rendering of the eternal feminine, with Her worthy papa—a victim of his own eccentricities was performed by O. N. Gillespie in a manner that made us regret that destiny had prevented him from permanently setting foot upon the boards. "Poor Ma!" was most femininely portrayed by R. M Watson. J. Stout proved a most experienced lover —of Letitia; and Matilda's agility, nothing impeded by the presence of the said garments (and undoubtedly betokening much patient practice) fairly brought down the house as it did John Graham, F. A. de la Mare, who reappeared as the guardian of the law, was responsible for much violent side-shaking, and Mike, of fishy fame, in the person of I. Davey, displayed his affection for Matilda, in a manner as pleasing to ourselves as to the fair Amoreuse.

The Supper.

"To every guest the appropriate speech was made
And every duty with distinction paid."

—Scott.

Perhaps the most enjoyable function ever held by the Students' Association was the "supper in honour of the graduates" at the conclusion of the performance, when Professors, Students, and Members of the College Council found themselves the guests of the Association. The large gymnasium was packed to its utmost capacity with a crowd of lively good-humoured students who suffered no chance of enthusing wildly to escape. Toasts were given, songs sung, replies made, graduates hugged, (metaphorically speaking) page 51 mutual panegyircs cashed to a fine art. Eulogy lost itself in enthusiasm, and finally the satisfied crowd, having summed up sufficient breath to arouse the neighbourhood with the strains of Auld Lang Syne, repaired once more to the hall to take

"No rest till morn when youth and pleasure meet,
To chase the glowing hours with flying feet."