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The Spike or Victoria College Review, October 1903

7 — Quem Porro Fletum Sororum Putatis

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7

Quem Porro Fletum Sororum Putatis.

"If thou dost play with him at any game thou art sure to lose."

Anthony and Cleopatra II., 3.

1.
Our "Froggy" was a promising youth,
He was going for his degree,
But now, alas, he's gone dotty, forsooth
Not a tittle of work does he;
He's gone clean off his "coeoanut."
And he does no reading at night.
And he's given tin going to lectures,
Football's his heart's delight,

2.
For now he's joined a football club—
What that means 1 do not know,
But on Saturdays sharp at two o'clock,
To Petone he will go.
He calls himself a forward—
Faith what that is I cannot say,
But he gets well paid for his forwardness,
When they carry him home from play.

Chorus:
For he's home with a broken ankle,
And his nose laid flat on his face,
A smart young fellow we thought him once
But now he's a vile disgrace;
For he's joined this horrible football club,
I call them a gang of fools,
With their goals, their tries, their kicks, their byes
And their Rugby Union Rules.

3.
Last night he was sleeping, and, waking,
He made a great spring out of bed,
He kicked the cat and he shouted "Goal!"
Then he butted the wall with his head;
And he's done no work this season,
And football's his heart's delight.

4.
He comes home with blood all plastered,
And inches of skin off his "paws,"
And lie litters the house with bottles and jars
Of ointment to rub on his sores.
And he tells us he's learning to dribble,
I can quite believe what he says;
For I never saw such a drivehing idiot,
As "Froggy" in all my days.

Chorus:
For he's home with a broken ankle, etc.. etc.