'Pon me conshinse, when the news o' the ruckshions at Timaru raiched me offis on Lambton Kay, I was tundhcrsthruck, so I was; for in these quiet times it's refreshin' to hear av a nate shindy. Be the hokey poker, I was only sorry that I wasn't on the scene av ackshun, for betchune you and me I'm gsttin' blue mouldy for want av a baitin', so I am. 'Pon me sowl, I was disgusted to hear that the peelers inthorfered an' spiled the sport. Bad luck to thim, they're always comin' where they're not wanted. Sure, av the boys wanted to imitate the deeds av their glorious ancesthors, why shouldn't they be allowed to have it out wid one another in paice widout those blackguard bobbies intherfairin. Faix, it's illigant sport braikin' one another's heads just for fun. Laivin' King Billy an' King Shamus altogether out o' the question, I think, as a matther of principle, men should be allowed to amuse thimsilves now an' agin, be way av ricrayashun. It's a mighty fine thing whin a man grows ould to be able to show the wounds an' scars that he recayved in the wars, an' to be able to hand thim down to his ancesthors and posterity in gineral. I was sorry to find that the opposin' armies wor so unequally divided, an' small thanks to King James's forces for baitin' sich a mere handful o' the inimy. Is there any thruth in the rumour that's raiched Willin'ton, to the effect that Inspecthor Mallard, av your city, has cautioned the fruitherers av Dunaidin against displayin' oranges an' apples in the windows, as they might tind to provoke a braich o' the paice? Those bobbies ought to mind their own business, so they ought. I've sthruck off the followin' pome to immortalise