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The Dook:—" Ah, Richard John, let not thy modesty deter thee from accepting this small token of our esteem."

The Rt. Hon. R.J.S.:—Ah, most, high, that rules the waves, but hast thou not baser gifts to bestow?"

The Dook:—" Yes, some £20,000 worth of presents, roughly speaking."

The Rt. Hon. R.J.S.: "That's something more my weight."

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It is a subject for much regret that the quest for an untamed feline with which to ornament the West Coast "Coal and Gold" Arch has proved ineffectual. It is understood that the hunt was carried on among the hills instead of in the animal's natural habitat—the beds of watercourses.

Hip, hip, hooray!
They come this way,
Both George and May;
But they go away
Some future day,
Hip, hip, hooray!

Prior to the departure of Lord Ranfurly for Sydney, he spent several days with Ministers, rehearsing the manner in which each and every one should conduct himself on the arrival of His Royal Highness. These proceedings were held in a remote apartment in the Government Buildings, where it was supposed that absolute privacy would be secured. It transpires that His Excellency found his task of instruction one of such tremendous magnitude that he seriously thought of recommending the entire abolition of responsible government during the Royal visit to the colony. The Postmaster-General showed an aptitude for the proper performance of his functions, and the Premier went through his part with an elephantine grace that was not displeasing. But the Minister for Lands! Here was something in a virgin state which for a time absolutely defied cultivation. The braw and honourable Tam and the equally honourable Mines were put through a course of drill beside which the training of a military recruit would be a relaxation, and were finally reduced to such a state of physical demoralisation that it is feared they will have to be granted extensive leave of absence from their Parliamentary duties in order to recuperate.

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