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The Pamphlet Collection of Sir Robert Stout: Volume 80a

Chapter IV

Chapter IV.

In search of pastime for the Dook a fishing and shooting excursion was formed by Thomas, the son of Wilford, and the rendezvous was the Hutt Valley.

Many and various were the choice of arms, from the hammerless double-barrel to the juvenile shanghai or catapult, and for the snaring of the silvery-scaled denizens of the stream rods and lines, flies and minnows, nets and multifarious other saturnalian devices, were crowded into the homely furniture van for transportation to the scene of action. We may here state that during an interview with the Dook (he called around to borrow our bell-topper, having had his own shot away inadvertently on the shooting trip). He assured us that some of his most weighty and successful baskets had been obtained with a worm and bent pin.

A knowledgable man, whose face resembled a patch of waste land, had been subsidised as guide to the shooting location, and so well did he perform his office that the

Tailor and large soldier looking into mirror

Dook, in a moment of forgetfulness, did compress the trigger of his gun, and the guide received the charge full in the location—i.e., slightly below the seat of the waistcoat. It befel that whilst the guide was extracting the pellets from his person the Dook and party roved deeper into the recesses of the what sername. And what time they ruv a ponderous thought did strike the people's Dick, and with such full force that he fell, yea, deep down—into a reverie, and whilst in the reverie mistook the bell-topper of the Dook for a King Fisher, and being himself the only King in these parts, did essay to rob the King Fisher of his crown, and pass the aforementioned offensive object into space, and so accurate was the aim and so well-timed the shot, that the hat was wafted hence, and the Dook's hair was combed from stem to stern with pellets and without damage to a hair, thereby instituting a new and German-like style of brushing, straight up on end like quills on the fretful porcupine. Some disparagers might say that this was caused thro' fear, but 'tis not so (we have it from the Dook himself). After all explanation and apologies had been exchanged, the guide (who had by this extracted all the shot from his anatomy, save and except one which had lodged in the region of the bracebutton and necessitated his walking in a sort of horizontindicular fashion) led the way to the aboding place of a very fierce and savage rabbit, whose depredations had been the talk of all the "giddy rabbits" of the Hutt Valley.

Dick, as the pre-eminent and par excellentissimo engineer of all great things, proceeded alone, and with one fell swoop to surround the jungle on all sides wherein lay the fearsome rodent.

page 30
The police have received information that at midnight upon the evenings of the 18th, 19th and 20th of June a seemingly antediluvian monster of gigantic proportions was seen roving about the vicinity of Molesworth Street.

The police have received information that at midnight upon the evenings of the 18th, 19th and 20th of June a seemingly antediluvian monster of gigantic proportions was seen roving about the vicinity of Molesworth Street.

page 31
"You must forgive me dropping in so often, my dear Mrs. Brown, but I simply cannot resist your afternoon cup of Empire Tea."

"You must forgive me dropping in so often, my dear Mrs. Brown, but I simply cannot resist your afternoon cup of Empire Tea."