When one who, for eleven long and weary years, had been awaiting a cheque receives an account like the above one feels utterly squashed, almost disposed to faint. No use fainting. Should one exclaim "Moses?" No use calling upon Moses. Moses long since "gone to bye." "Jupiter?" No use calling upon Jupiter. Jupiter far tort busy trotting along through space with his four moons. "Cracky Billy!" That sounds better. Something should be made to crack. Should the idea suggest itself of a picnic to the forest where firewood is abundant and cheap; expresses, cabs, saws, axes, and chains, a band to play something Sundayish to give a tone to the proceedings, a huge pile of wood, two creatures chained on top, a little kerosene, a match. Then the return; the band sweetly rendering, "Those two we left behind us." Then would follow the police, handcuffs, trial by jury, etc. Clearly the idea of a picnic to the forest must be abandoned. What, then, can a poor trustee do or say in or under such most wretched circumstances? Prudence suggests caution. W. T. L. Travers, and Sir Walter Buller, are able and gifted—in some respects head and shoulders higher sort of people. Had a photo been taken of Mr. Travers when a young man somewhere in Spain, a picture would have presented itself of a hero seated on top of a tall war horse, his martial sword beside him, breathing forth unlimited threatenings. Upon one occasion, when so taking his rides abroad, Mr. Travers invested. For tenpence he purchased a plenary indulgence; such plenary indulgence to free him from any transgressions previous page 13 to such purchase—any transgressions during the continuance of his connection with said horse and sword—-any transgressions when, after, acting as barrister and solicitor, and so on, to the end of his life's chapter, with the right of entrèe after that—all this for tenpence. Sir Walter Buller is also one able and gifted. When a younger man Dr. (now Sir Walter) Buller "received instructions" to purchase a fine block of some 200,000 acres from the Maori people. There were difficulties; but what are difficulties to those gifted and brave but matters and things to be met and overcome.—Veni ridi vici. The difficulty was this: the land belonged to sections of only one tribe who were just then not disposed to sell. They asked for an investigation of title, their lands having been claimed by others. Said Dr. Buller gathered together the representatives of some nine tribes, most of whom had previously been armed with Government rifles and ammunition. These representatives were all willing to sell, many insisted upon the sale. Dr. Buller was then to be seen going about among the tribes with a document purporting to be a deed of cession to Majesty; and thus through this purchase of their land from eight non-possessing tribes with the non-possessing moiety of a ninth tribe, together with the following judgment of a Land Court, these loyal, peaceable, unoffending, confiding subjects of Majesty, the real and only owners of the country—kind and humane to a degree when savages and independent—just and generous even to a fault after they became subjected to Majesty—are brought to ruin, and to Majesty with "Record Reign" their lands went. Dr. (now Sir Walter) Buller, after this like "a warrior taking his rest," visits the Old Country, becomes associated with the great ones of the earth; takes matters and things Imperial, among them the Imperial Institute, under his distinguished patronage; returns to New Zealand a knighted and knightly ornament of the vast Imperial British Empire; thus showing that these two—Messrs. Travers and Buller—stand head and shoulders above their fellows in their ability tc secure all those little addendas that tend to make life pleasing here with the right of entree to all that is best in the life to come,—this for tenpence! Superlative of the superlative crème de la crème; thus making manifest and most clear that one must be most carefully guarded what one may say; hush! sh, sh, sh! when writing regarding two such superlatives in the newspapers, or so sure as night follows day, so sure will follow an action in Her Majesty's Supreme Court for libel—an action setting forth and seeking damages. Horror of horrors. Ye gods, damages! Let me ask your readers to join with me while we endeavour to picture, set forth, give pen and ink sketch of such action—such cause celebre. Messrs. Travers and Buller versus T.C. Here we have them. Here they are, side page 14 by side in Court on their knees weeping, praying a Queen's Judge and a Queen's jury to make it hot for T.C.; to make T.C. hand in large monies to be divided between their superlative selves as compensation for damages done to them by T.C. by what he had been writing regarding them in the newspapers; to make T.C. pay oceans of 3s. 4d.'s, a vasty vast of 6s. 8d.'s, with a hideous and ghastly array of 13s. 4d.'s. A powerful bar is assembled—barristers and solicitors from all parts of New Zealand—from the North Cape to Stewart's Island—all assembled and met with a view to show their sympathy with and contribute each his mite to assist their twosuffering and complaining just now agonized barristerial brethren. Poor T.C. all by himself. The whole space in Court crowded, and overcrowded with barristers and solicitors, many left standing outside, peeping round the corners. They sit looking solemn, grave, and respectful, as fitting professional men, officers, and gentlemen when in Her Majesty's Supreme Court. Presently, and before proceedings are commenced, they begin to nudge one another, and call nudgy attention to their two grievously suffering brethren, and this nudging and nudging and calling of nudgy attention continues and continues till such time a most strange thing happens—a general collapse of the whole assembled bar; they all break down in one general, universal, all-round barristerial blubber; they all commence to weep and blubber, blubber and weep, the two plaintiff barristers still profusely weeping, and this same weeping and blubbering with profuse weeping continues and continues, till such time there is danger of the Supreme Court buildings being permanently injured through a species of rot—barristerial tear-rot—worse than dry rot or any other kind of rot; the most abominable possible of all rots possible—barristerial tear-rot—and this said weeping and blubbering, with profuse weeping as aforesaid, continues and continues as aforesaid, till such time there is nothing left for the Queen's Judge in the public interest but to cry, "Mr. Sheriff, clear the court." Then the reception of these tear-be-wetted worthies, when all mounted on their bicycles, by the crowd outside! Scots wha' hae! We have been told that on certain days in each week barges are towed outside the Heads of Sydney Harbour filled with the refuse of the city; that on their way to the ocean these barges are followed by crowds of monsters, by many regarded the barristers and solicitors of the deep; that when said barges reach their destination, and their contents thrown into the ocean, there is a vast of stir in the house of shark. "Dog," barristers tell us, "will not eat dog." "Hawk," solicitors tell us, "will not pick out the een o' hawk." Those grand old ocean sharks that so regularly wait upon those barges outside the Heads of Sydney Harbour are ever prepared to take a far wider and broader view of matters and things—ever page 15 ready to kapai barrister, to devour solicitor in quantity enormous—juvenile solicitor or aged barrister "all 'e same, John." Question may be asked what is the meaning of all the above? Cui bono. Quod ad eundm. Have we not a Parliament? Imprimis pass a short Act making it penal for any barrister or solicitor to have a seat in Parliament, proof of candidature alone sufficient. Then proceed to raise up High Justice from its as now utterly degraded and degrading position—the hideously cumbrous and costly slough through which mankind have to wade when seeking for justice, many electing to submit to injusticeand wrongs rather than effort so monstrous a wade. Have all the obstructions, the vast of accumulated precedent, law points and points of law, all the vast of hindrances and obstacles manufactured and built up by barristers and solicitors during past ages—have them removed and for ever from all mankind's avenues to justice. Have Courts of Arbitration appointed, the presiding judges to be appointed, not by the Government, but by a special independent Board of good and true men, the duties of such arbitrators to hear and decide shortly men's differences. Have all the lands of the country brought under the Land Transfer Act. All deeds and documents in connection with all transactions affecting land sales or mortgages to be prepared by specially-appointed officers of the Government; all parties to be compelled to accept the deeds so prepared. Have officers appointed, their duties to prepare men's and women's wills for them, their marriage settlements, their agreements, and all other documents needing careful preparation; all applicants for deeds or documents to hand in a short and simple statement of what is wanted, such short statement to be attached to a copy of any deed or document when completed, the wishes so set forth of any applicant to be carried out, any error or miswording of any deed or documents to the contrary notwithstanding—officers appointed to do all for men and women necessary to free them from their, as now, slavery to lawyers, their monopolies and high charges. Then proceed to shatter the vasty fabrics with all their misty mystifying surroundings erected by the clergy through the past ages above, around, and in connection with Christianity, and the teachings of the Christian religion. Have the Christian religion taught to mankind the wide earth o'er in all the grandeur of its all-saving simplicity. Let all the Christian churches and denominations, with all their names and distinguishments too numerous to mention, go packing, taking with them all their vast of mischievous, mankind-bewildering creed, doctrine, dogma, and hair-splittings; their priestly powers and church terrorisms, their infallibilities, their confessionals, their penances, their pardons, their masses, their requiems, their prayers for the page 16 dead, their purgatories, their apostolic successions, their vast of lengthy enlengthened church services, their vast of prayer with much of "vain repetition," their vast (some very good) of sermons, their vast of (many confusing) discourses and addresses, their high church, their low church, broad church, and all other kinds and sorts of church. Let them all go packing. Christianity itself again: "I and my Father are one." "He that believeth on me hath life everlasting." "God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth on Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." "I determined to know nought among you but Christ Jesus and him crucified." "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved." Jesus Christ "The Lamb of God who taketh away the sins of the world."—I am, etc.,