How to Smoke a Cigar.

When I say a cigar, I mean a twenty pounder (£20), nothing less, to those who can get them, which is not at present an easy matter in New Zealand. One hour after dinner enter your smoking den, turn all others out and lock the door; remove your coat, collar, and boots, unbutton your vest, and one other button if necessary; draw your rocker up to the grate and drop into it; with a sharp knife cut about an eighth of an inch off the cigar; cut clean and carefully to avoid breaking the wrapper which may happen if the cigar is as dry as it ought to be; take the cigar gingerly between the thumb and finger, do not press it or you may crack the wrapper; now insert the end between your teeth, if the lips are not blubbers, if they are, then between the lips only. Light, up, but not from a match, candle, or gas jet—light from ignited punk or chinese fire stick; put your feet on the fender, mantlepiece, or ridgepole, anyhow, get them up to your satisfaction, and have them off your mind; then throw yourself back in the rocker and start on a voyage to discover the exquisite flavor of that twenty pounder. Do not chaw the end of the weed like a porker chewing a straw, nor puff as if you were smoking for a wager; smoke gently, very gently, do not take more than three draws without removing the cigar. Occasionally throw your head back, shut one eye, open one comer of your mouth and produce a miniature Mount Etna on the burst. Never knock the ash off, and if the cigar is perfecly dry and smoked slowly, it will not fall off, cigars smoke much better with the ash on than off. Never allow page 15 yourself to be disturbed whilst smoking. If the house takes fire see that cigar out to the last inch and a quarter, throw that, away; if the house does not take fire you may throw your head back, half close your eyes, and pass a very pleasant half-hour in a smoker's paradise. Whisky and the other We are not wanted on this scene.