The Three Thieves.

Three rogues, in the vicinage of Lan, uniting the ingenuity of their talents, had for a considerable time put both monks and laymen under contribution. Two of them were brothers; their names Hamet and Berard. Their father, who had followed the same profession, had just finished his career at the gallows. The name of the third was page 6 Travers. They never robbed or murdered; but only pursued the business of pilfering and kidnapping, in which they had arrived to an astonishing degree of skill.

As they were walking together one day in the wood of Lan, and talking of their several feats of dexterity, Hamet, the eldest of the two brothers, espied at the top of a lofty oak a magpie's nest, and saw the mother fly into it. "Brother," said he to Berard, "what would you say to a person that should propose to go and take the eggs from under that bird without alarming it?" "I should tell him," answered the younger brother, "that he was a fool, and proposed a thing impossible to be done." "Well, learn, my friend, that he who cannot accomplish so practicable a theft, is but a booby in his profession. Observe me." This said, he immediately climbs the tree. Having reached the nest, he makes a hole in it underneath, receives softly in his hand the eggs, as they slip through the opening, and brings them down, desiring his companions to observe that not a single egg was broken. "By St. Denis," cries Berard, "I must allow you to be an incomparable thief; but if you could go and replace the eggs under the mother, as quietly as you have taken them from her, we should acknowledge you our master."

Hamet accepts the challenge, and again mounts the tree: but his brother designed a trick upon him. The latter, as soon as he sees the other at a certain height, says to Travers, "You have just been a witness to Hamet's dexterity; you shall now see what I can do in the same way." He instantly climbs the tree, and follows his elder brother from branch to branch; and whilst the latter has his eyes fixed upon the nest, entirely taken up with his design, and watching every motion of the bird, the slippery rogue loosens his trousers, and brings them down as a signal of triumph. Hamet in the meantime, contrives to replace all the eggs, and coming down looks for the praise due to so clever an exploit. "Oh, you only want to deceive us," said Berard, bantering him; "I'll wager that you have concealed the eggs in your trousers." The other looks, sees that his trousers are gone, and soon finds out the trick of his brother. "Excellent rogue," cried he, "to outwit another!"

As for Travers, he was lost in equal admiration of these two heroes, and could not determine which had the advantage. But he felt himself humbled at their superiority; and piqued at not being able to contend with them, cried, "Friends, you are too knowing for me. You would escape twenty times, when I should be the sacrifice. I perceive that I am too awkward to thrive in this business; so I shall go and follow my own trade. I renounce thieving for ever. I have good strong arms, and will return home and live with my wife; with the help of God, I shall be able to procure a subsistence." He fulfilled his declaration and returned to his village. His wife loved him; he became an honest man, and set himself to work with so much industry that, at the close of a few months, he had earned wherewithal to buy a hog. The animal was fattened at home. At Christmas he killed it, and having hung it in the usual way against the wall, he went into the fields. But it had been much better for him to have sold it. He would then have saved himself a vast deal of uneasiness.

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The two brothers, who had not seen him since their separation, came at this very time to pay him a visit. The wife was alone spinning. She told them that her husband had just gone out, and that he would not return till night. With eyes accustomed to examine everything, you might have sworn the hog could not escape their notice. "Oh, ho," said they, on going out, "this fellow is about to regale, and did not think us worth inviting! Well, we must carry off his pork, and eat it without him." The rogues then laid their plot, and till night should enable them to act, they went and concealed themselves behind a neighboring hedge.

At night, when Travers returned, his wife told him of the visit she had received. "I was much alarmed," said she, "at being alone with them; they had so suspicious an appearance, that I did not venture to ask either their name or business. But they searched every corner with their eyes; I don't think a single peg escaped their notice." "Ah! it must have been my two queer companions," cried Travers in great trouble; "my hog is lost; I now heartily wish that I had sold it." "We have still a resource," said the wife. "Let us take down the pork, and hide it somewhere for the night. To-morrow morning you may consider what is to be done." Travers adopted his wife's advice. He took down the pork and laid it under the bread oven, at the opposite end of the room; after which he lay down, but not with his mind perfectly at ease.

Night having come, the two brothers arrived to accomplish their project; and while the eldest kept watch, Berard began to penetrate the wall in that part where he had seen the pork hanging. But he quickly perceived that nothing was left except the string by which it had been suspended. "The bird has flown," said he; "we have come too late." Travers, whom the dread of being robbed kept awake, thinking he heard a noise, roused his wife and ran to the oven to feel if the pork was there; but as he was also apprehensive for his barn and stable, he determined to make the circuit of them, and went out armed with a hatchet. Berard, who heard him go out, took the advantage of that opportunity to pick open the door; and approaching the bed, and counterfeiting the voice of the husband, "Mary," said he, "the pork is removed from the wall, what have you done with it?" "Don't you remember, then, that we put it under the oven," answered the wife. "What, has fear turned your brain?" "No, no," replied the other, "I had only forgotten. But stop, I will secure it," in saying which, he lifted the pork upon his shoulders and ran off.

After having gone his rounds and visited carefully his doors, Travers returned to the chamber. "I have got a husband," said the woman, "who, it must be confessed, has a curious head upon his shoulders; to forget the next moment what he has done with his pork." At these words Travers set up a cry, "I told you they would steal it from me; it is gone and I shall never see it more!" Yet as the thieves could not be gone far, he had still some hope of recovering it, and instantly ran after them.

They had taken a bye-path across the fields, that led towards the wood, where they intended to hide their booty. Hamet went before, page 8 to secure their way, and the brother, whose load was a considerable impediment, followed him at a small distance. Travers soon came up with the latter. He saw him plainly, and recognised him. "You must be somewhat tired," said he, assuming the voice of the elder brother; "give me the load, and let me take my turn." Berard, who thought his brother Hamet was speaking to him, gives Travers the pork, and walks on. But he had not proceeded a hundred yards, ere, to his great astonishment, he falls in with Hamet. "Zounds," cried he, "I have been ensnared. That rogue Travers has taken me in; but let me see if I cannot make amends for my folly."

He then stript himself, put his shirt over his clothes, made himself a kind of woman's cap, and in that trim ran as fast as he could by another path to the house of Travers, whose arrival he awaited at the door. As he sees Travers approach, he comes forward as his wife, to meet him, and asks with a feigned voice, whether he had recovered the pork. "Yes, I have it," answered the husband. "Well, give it me, and run quickly to the stable; for I heard a noise there, and I fear they have broken in." Travers threw the carcase upon the other's shoulders, and went once more to make his round. But when he returned into the house, he was surprised to find his wife in bed, crying and half dead with fear. He then perceived he had been again cheated. Nevertheless he was determined not to despair; and, as if his honor were concerned in this adventure, he vowed not to give up the contest, till by some means or other he should come off victorious.

He suspected that the thieves this trip would hardly take the same road; but he knew the forest was the place they would make for, and accordingly went the shortest way to it. They had in fact already got there, and in their triumph and eagerness to taste the fruit of their dexterity, they had just lighted a fire at the foot of an oak to broil a piece of the meat. The wood was green, and burned but indifferently; so that, to make it blaze, they were obliged to go and gather some dried leaves and rotten branches.

Travers, whom the light soon directed to the thieves, took the advantage of their distance from the fire. He stripped himself entirely naked, climbed the oak, suspended himself by one arm in the position of one who had been hanged; and when he saw the rogues return and busy themselves again in blowing up the fire, he roared out with a voice like thunder : "Unhappy wretches! you will come to the same end with me!" The two brothers in confusion imagined they saw and heard their father, and thought of nothing but making their escape. The other quickly snatches his clothes and his pork, returns in triumph to his wife, and gives her an account of his recent victory. She congratulated him on so bold and well-executed a manœuvre. "Let us not yet flatter ourselves with too much security," said he. "These queer fellows are not far off, and so long as the pork lasts I I shall not think it out of danger. But boil some water : we'll dress it; and, if they return, we shall see what method they will devise to get hold of it again." The one then made a fire, while the other divided the carcase, and put it piece by piece into the kettle; they both then seated themselves to watch it, one on each side of the fire-place.

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But Travers, who was almost exhausted for want of rest, and fatigued by the operations of the night, soon began to show a propensity to sleep. "Go and lay yourself down," said the wife, "I will take care of the pot; all is fastened; there is nothing to fear : and at all events, if I should hear a noise, I'll give you notice." On this assurance, he threw himself in his clothes upon the bed, and immediately fell fast asleep. The wife continued for some space of time to watch the cauldron; but drowsiness began to overpower her likewise, and at last she fell asleep in her chair.

In the meantime our thieves, after recovering from their alarm, had returned to the oak; but finding there neither pork nor man in chains they easily unravelled the plot. They conceived themselves dishonoured if, in this conflict of stratagems, Travers should finally have the advantage. So they returned to his house, resolved for this last time to strain their ingenuity to the utmost.

Before they undertook anything, Berard looked through the hole he had made in the wall, to see if the enemy was upon guard. He saw on the one hand Travers stretched out upon his bed, and on the other the wife, whose head nodded from one side to another, with a ladle in her hand, while the pork was boiling in the cauldron. "They had a mind to save us the trouble of cooking it," said Berard to his brother; "and indeed it was the least they could do, considering what work they have given us already. Be steady, and rest assured that I will help you to some of it." He then goes and cuts down a long pole, which he sharpens at one end. With his pole he climbs upon the roof, and letting it down through the chimney, he sticks it into a piece of pork and raises it up. Travers at that instant happened to awake. He saw the manœuvre, and judged that with such expert enemies peace was preferable to war. "Friends," cried he, "you have not done right in breaking through the roof of my house; and I have also been to blame in not inviting you to partake of my pork. Let us contend no longer for the superiority in artifice; for it is a contest that would never have an end : but come down and let us feast together." He went and opened the door to them. They sat down together at table, and were heartily reconciled to each other.

The Penny Post two Centuries Ago.—In an old volume bearing the date of 1682 upon its title-page, I found the other day some highly interesting particulars concerning the penny post, as established in the City at that time. After treating of the office of Postmaster-General, and the days upon which the mails left for the various countries of Europe, the author introduces the penny post, "lately erected to the benefit and advantage of this nation, but especially of this City" :—"This post," continues the writer, "was invented and contrived by that ingenious and knowing citizen of London, Mr. William Dockwray, whereby for one penny is most speedily conveyed any letter, or any parcel, not exceeding one pound weight, or ten pounds in value, to and from all parts within the weekly bills of mortality; to the most remote places whereof letters go four or five page 10 times a day; and to other places of more business they go six or eight times every day, except Sundays, and except three days at Christmas, two days at Easter and Whitsuntide, and the 80th of January. For the better carrying on this great and useful design, there are a very great number of messengers employed from morning to night; there are four or five hundred receiving-houses to take in letters within the City and suburbs, and other places within the bills of mortality, where the messengers call every hour, and presently convey the letters according to their respective directions. There are seven sorting-houses, and the principal office is kept in Lime Street, at the house of Mr. Dockwray. The conveniences of this useful undertaking of the penny post are as follow: All gentlemen, country, chapmen, and others, may hereby speedily and cheaply give notice of their arrival at London; shopkeepers and tradesmen may send to their workmen for what they want; bills may be dispersed for publication of any concern; summons or tickets conveyed to all parts; brewers' entries safely sent to the excize office; appointments of meetings among men of business; much time saved in solicitation for money; lawyers and clients mutually correspond; patients may send to doctors, apothecaries, and chyrurgeons, for what they shall want; besides many other advantages." From the above it would appear that in some respects the penny post of 1682 was superior to that of 1880. The conveyance of parcels of one pound in weight by post is not at the present time so cheap as it was some two hundred years ago.—"Dogberry," in City Press.

Mixed Metaphors.—A German author has made a collection of mixed metaphors, which he calls pearls of thought. Some of them are worth quoting, if only as a warning to high-flown orators not to allow their magniloquence to fly away with them altogether. "We will," cried an inspired Democrat, "burn all our ships, and with every sail unfurled, steer boldly out into the ocean of freedom!" A pan-Germanist mayor of a Rhineland corporation rose still higher in an address to the Emperor. He said, "No Austria, no Prussia, one only Germany—such were the words the mouth of your Imperial Majesty has always had in its eye." But there are even literary men who cannot open their mouths "without putting their foot in it." Professor Johannes Scherr is an example of such. In a criticism on Lenau's "Lyrics" he writes: "Out of the dark regions of philosophical problems the poet suddenly lets swarms of songs dive up carrying far-flashing pearls of thought in their beaks." Songs and beaks are certainly related to one another, but were never seen in that incongruous connection before. A German preacher, speaking of a repentant girl, said, "She knelt in the temple of her interior and prayed fervently"—a feat no indiarubber doll could imitate. The German parliamentary oratory of the present day affords many examples of metaphor mixture, but two must suffice. Count Frankenburg is the author of them. A few years ago he pointed out to his countrymen the necessity of "seizing the stream of time by the forelock;" and in the last session he told the Minister of War that if he really thought the French were seriously attached to peace he had page 11 better resign office and "return to his paternal oxen." The count had no doubt the poet's paterna rura in his mind at the time. But none of these pearls of thought and expression in the Fatherland surpass the speech of the immortal Joseph Prudhomme on being presented with a sword of honor by the company he commanded in the National Guard of France. "Gentlemen," said he, "this sword is the brightest day of my life!"—Galignani.

Parliamentary Reporting.—Reporting is comparatively a new art. Less than a century ago it was little known, and its practice was confined to very few persons. True that reports of Parliament first began to be published in the seventeenth century, but they were not verbatim, as shorthand was then but little practised. Notwithstanding that reporters in our days are picked men, it was recently affirmed by Mr. John Bright that reporting has deteriorated; but he added that he had known the House make so much noise when a speaker was endeavoring to occupy its time that it would be quite impossible for any reporter to convey to the public what the speaker said. Many members grumble at the shortness of the reports. The proceedings are certainly reported at less length than formerly, but the reason is that they are not now so generally interesting. For the newspaper reader the present reports amply suffice. The principal speakers are honored with verbatim reports, and, as Dickens once remarked, every man is reported according to the position he can gain in public estimation, and according to the force and weight of what he has to say. The present method of reporting the debates is well known. Some ninety reporters occupy the house every evening. A few are summary writers, but the majority are shorthand writers who write according to the requirements of the papers they represent. They are men of wide knowledge, usually well suited for their work. With scarcely an exception they have been trained in the provinces, where they have gained that knowledge of Parliamentary men and of public questions which cannot readily be acquired in London. We differ from Mr. Gladstone when he says that Parliamentary reporting is not a work of high art or fine art. Reporting is an art, and excellence in it as difficult to attain as excellence in any other art. Although the reporters of the last twenty years may not have distinguished themselves in literature as greatly as some of their predecessors, it is not because their abilities are less, but because they have turned them into other channels more lucrative than book-making.—Educational Guide.

The American Book Exchange, of New York City, have "out-Heroded Herod" by the cheapness of some of their late publications. Macaulay's "Life of Frederick the Great," Carlyle's "Life of Robert Burns," Thomas Hughes' "Manliness of Christ," and John Stuart Mill's "Chapters on Socialism" have been published at the ridiculously low price of three cents (l½d.); while Edwin Arnold's "Light of Asia," Goldsmith's "Vicar of Wakefield," and "Baron Mun-chausen's Travels" are five cents each; with "The Pilgrim's Progress" capping the list at six cents. They are preparing for page 12 the Press "Young's Bible Concordance," with its 311,000 references, for 2 dols. (8s.) This book has not been published here before for less than 15 dols. (£3.) On account of the intricacy of its composition, and the consequent cost it would entail to be printed in the ordinary way, each page of an original copy is being photo engraved—a process which is much cheaper than "setting up." Several leading publishers have called them "Cheap John publishers" and "pirates," and the great Methodist Book concern refuses the Book Exchange advertising space in its many publications. As might have been expected, the first-named books are selling by the million.

Bank Notes.—Not only did the Chinese possess coins at a very early period, but they were also, it is said, the inventors of bank notes. Some writers regard bank notes as having originated about 119 B.C., in the reign of the Emperor Ou-ti. At this time the court was in want of money, and, to raise it, Klaproth tells us that the prime minister hit upon the following device. When any princes or courtiers entered the imperial presence, it was customary to cover the face with a piece of skin. It was first decreed then that for this purpose the skin of certain white deer kept in one of the royal parks should alone be permitted, and then these pieces of skin were sold for a high price. True bank-notes are said to have been invented about 800 A.D., in the reign of Hian-tsoung, of the dynasty of Thang, and were called feutsien, or "flying money."

At the last entrance examinations at the Berlin Printers' School of Apprentices, by far the larger number of candidates were rejected, as they were very deficient in their knowledge of spelling. A report of the proceedings was sent to the School Board of the Berlin magistracy, together with an invitation to assist at the next examination. This report was by no means graciously received, and instead of accepting the invitation, a letter was sent stating that the magistrates would not any longer allow free schoolrooms to the Printers' School if the master printers kept on publishing reports about their pupils that must necessarily reflect unfavorably on the state of the Berlin people's schools.

The United States is the place for munificent salaries for editors and editresses. Miss Booth, editress of Harper's Bazaar (a ladies' fashion journal), receives 5,000 dols. (£1,040) per annum. The present superintendent of the New York Herald receives 10,000 dols. a year for his services; and it is interesting to recall, in this connection, that the late Mr. F. Hudson, who was chief editor of that paper under James Gordon Bennett, sen., received a pension of that amount after his withdrawal from active service until his death.

The postal card is a great institution in the United States. In the second week in October the Parsons Paper Company, the manufacturers, shipped 15,000,000 of them, weighing 63 tons, which is the largest number ever yet supplied in one week. From July to September 72,000,000 were sold.

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The printing, together with the supply of paper, for the Census of England and Wales, has been undertaken by Messrs. McCorquodale and Co. On the last occasion (1871) this important work was entrusted to Messrs. Ford and Tilt, of Long Acre. The extent of the contract may be roughly estimated as 7,530,000 householders' schedules, 80,000 enumerating books, 110,000 forms for vessels, &c., were used, the whole requiring about 58 tons of paper.

A German newspaper lately gave its readers the following interesting piece of information :—"The Rev. Pelham Dale has been committed for contempt of Court to the Prison of Holloway. Holloway is a town near London, famous for its pills."

Paper barrels are being manufactured from the pulp by the American Paper Barrel Company, of Hartford, Conn. They are light, durable, and do not leak. Large numbers are being used for flour, sugar, kerosene, lard, &c. The machine turns out two hundred barrels a day.

The firm of paper car-wheel manufacturers at Pullman, Ill. (near Chicago), have taken on 500 extra hands during the last two months, to expedite production and fill the demand.

Pekin has a paper which the Chinese declare is over a thousand years old. They claim to have had printing material there before Adam inhabited Paradise!

Lord Beaconsfield's new novel, "Endymion," has been taken by the libraries to the extent of several thousands—Messrs. Mudie (Limited) subscribing for no fewer than 3,000.