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The Greenstone Door

Chapter XIV Three Years

page 191

Chapter XIV Three Years

Although—or perhaps because—the three years I spent in Auckland have left memories as tender and delightful as any I can call up, I pass rapidly over them here. They formed that period of life which comes to all save the most unfortunate, when the parental rule has worn away to a thread or is voluntarily relaxed, and youth steps out from the shelter of childhood and gazes with enamoured, anticipatory eyes on the glittering pageant of life. True that my Wanderjahr began when most boys of my race are still children at school; it is on experience and not on time that the brain feeds, and, few though were my years, they had contained incidents as strenuous as fall to the lot of most men in a lifetime.

Childhood in the kainga is not of long duration. Apart from the fact that the Maori develops rapidly in body and mind, there is in their society none of the reserve in speech which holds our own youth back as by invisible hands. I had at first mingled uninterruptedly with the Maori children; their games, their thoughts, their interests were mine: but as time went on and the teaching of my foster-father began to show, however unintentionally, in my words and ways, a change came over my relationship with them. They made me old; they made me staid and grave: for, though still contending with me physically, they pushed me into a dominant position in relation to things of the page 192mind, making of me a sort of oracle, whether I would or no.

Nor did my residence in the white men's city effect any great change in this respect. I had expected—without just reason, perhaps—to find the white men universally wise and brilliant, whereas, on the contrary, I found them ignorant and dull. A few hours sufficed for the Brompart family. Even Mr. Brompart, mentally alert as he was, I discovered to be grossly ignorant on quite simple matters. The same number of months further afield were enough to complete my disillusionment. So far from education being the rule, it was the exception; a thousand years of facilities had accomplished no more than this. I cannot absolve myself of priggishness at that time; there was much that I did not take into consideration, and much of which I was myself ignorant, yet my disappointment, at least, was real and bitter. I had hoped in place of the teacher I had lost a thousand would spring up around me; I found, at the most, three or four.

I saw much of Sir George Grey, and gave him such assistance as I could in his study of native legends and mythology. Of his goodness to me words are inadequate to tell. Half-measures were not in his nature. He could not see me daily and make use of my services without extending me in return an affectionate interest that embraced my life, present and future. No moment found him too busy or too tired to listen to my troubles, and every power of his mind was at my service in their removal. It was in response to no theory of duty that he so acted; willingly and gladly, at any time, he would put aside his own affairs to take up those of another.

The question of my going to England was one that was often discussed between us. I think he made it his business to ascertain every particular of the life-story of my parents in order that he might advise me. His judgment, when page 193he did give it, was in favour of my accepting the overtures of my grandfather. "Do not rouse again the fire that has burnt itself out," he said. "Let the past die, and turn your eyes to the future."

This brings me to the visit of my foster-father.

I think I had been four or five months in Auckland before, finally, and after much persuasion from me, he came. Never shall I forget the sight of his giant figure, striding down the street one morning in the early spring, or the hot wave of pleasure that surged to my face as my eyes lighted upon him. Man as I deemed myself, I was glad that he did not hesitate to kiss me in the busy street, and to march down it still holding my hand. In the end he had come unexpectedly, the conjunction of a departing vessel and an urgent letter from me having mastered his irresolution. Disdaining any means of conveyance, he had travelled the distance from Onehunga on foot.

"This then is Auckland," he said, and looked neither to the right nor the left.

"Did you bring Puhi-Huia, father?"

"No, Cedric. This is but a flying journey. We must make the most of the hours. But she is well, and her mother. They sent you their love and many messages, which I shall no doubt recall by and by. So this is what they have been about."

Though he looked deliberately at nothing, he seemed to notice a good deal; commenting on things I thought he had passed without a glance.

"All the old institutions, Cedric. Man can never wipe the slate clean and begin anew. He carries all his lumber with him, good, bad, and indifferent." I could detect the old impatience in his tones.

"Will you come to Mr. Brompart's, father?"

"No, my son. I will take mine ease at an inn. No man's guest I. There is one virtue in money—only one. page 194By it a man is independent; he can live his own life. And that reminds me: you do not spend enough. Youth should be free-handed. If I have ever counselled thrift, forget it. It is a poor virtue at all times, and it is none in a youth."

I took him to the Royal, in order that he might be near Government House, for I was determined that Sir George Grey and he should know and like one another. At the same time that I looked forward to their meeting, I was nervous and anxious over it. Two prouder men never lived. Neither by his office nor by nature was the Governor fitted to take a subservient part; on the other hand, I could not conceive my father bending his kingly head in humility to any office or man alive. A dozen dread possibilities presented themselves to my mind. I was in a fever of anxiety till the actual moment of their meeting arrived. Then, to my inexpressible relief, I found that I had harassed myself without cause. In all my cogitations I had overlooked Sir George's kindly feelings towards myself, and also the fact that I had spoken of my father so often that I had managed to create some kind of favourable idea of him in the Governor's mind.

I had received permission to bring the guest at an hour in the afternoon which Sir George usually devoted to purely private matters; and thus, when we had once passed the threshold, the three of us were alone. I doubt if either heard my stammered words of introduction; their eyes were fixed on one another to the exclusion of my palpitating personality, and in a moment their hands had met in a hearty clasp. What was said I do not know. I was glowingly conscious that the tone of both voices was exactly right; that there was an absence of chill formality; that both men were deeply interested in the meeting. Then silently I turned the handle of the door and stole away to find Helenora,

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I had taken counsel with her on the matter so often that I had ended by imbuing her with my own fears of disaster. "Two such men cannot possibly like one another," she echoed me. "There cannot be two suns in one—what-you-call-it."

"Yes, there can," I said, taking heart; "there are plenty of binary stars."

"Oh, then take courage. They will revolve round one another in harmony."

We went together to the door of the room that we might hear their voices, and decided—I do not know on what ground, for nothing was audible—that all was well. That any part of their talk should bear relation to myself certainly never occurred to me, yet, when two hours later I received a summons to the Governor's room, it was to find myself confronted with the necessity of coming to a decision on the matter that had so long perplexed me.

They were standing together at a table near the window, their four eyes fixed on the pages of a book, the leaves of which Sir George was turning with reverent care. It was evidently one of those literary treasures in which the Governor, as became a scholar, delighted, and which he was in the habit of securing at every favourable opportunity throughout his long life. The minds of the two men were evidently in sympathy, but the physical contrast between them forced itself strongly on my notice. Sir George, slender, upright, finely proportioned; my father, huge and rugged, and with a slouch forward of the head which came of dwelling in habitations too small for him. None would have been likely to guess the man of learning in the latter. A poet of nature, perhaps, a thinker, but scarcely a scholar. There were moments, on the other hand, and this was one of them, when it was difficult to think of the Governor as a soldier and a man of action; when he seemed, on the contrary, born and fitted for the life of a page 196student. Beyond a glance as I entered the room, they took no notice of me until the last page was turned.

"No individual man should possess such a treasure," said my father, "or if so, he should be compelled to safeguard it as he would a life, and be held responsible for its loss."

"That is true," replied Sir George, his face clouding, "as I have already learned to my cost. Some day, however, T hope to do more than verbally agree with you."

"Well, well," said my father, "I intended nothing personal. They cannot be better placed than in the hands of those who love them and possess the key to their mysteries. I have to give Your Excellency hearty thanks," he broke off, "for the kindness you have shown to my boy here."

"On the contrary," said the Governor, "it is I who am indebted to him. I fear his good-nature has led me into ruthlessness at times. Is it not so, Cedric?"

"No, sir. I have spent none but hours of happiness here."

"His Excellency has also expressed interest in your career, Cedric," went on my father, "and especially in the question which has lately arisen. We have sent for you, not as those to whom you owe obedience, but as two simple men who wish you well, and would aid you with honest advice."

There was such kindness expressed in their faces that I could not trust myself to more than a murmured word of thanks in reply.

"In the first place," my father continued, "we are quite agreed that, from a worldly point of view, there is no room for hesitation at all—you must accept your grandfather's overtures. That done, a career, possibly—probably—a great one, is secured to you. So much is as clear as daylight. page 197Everything that ordinary men covet, wealth and station and all that they entail, are yours at a word. You pass from a life which offers for one of your talents—and, as this is a time for plain speaking, I may tell you that you have great talents—nothing or little, to one whose possibilities are practically boundless. Against all these advantages you offer, as I understand, a scruple."

"I have hesitated, father," I replied; "but if you tell me to go, I will do so."

For a while he made no answer, and, for all the confidence in his tones, I, who could read every expression of his countenance, knew that he was ill at ease. To me, indeed, convincing as his arguments appeared on the surface, there was something lacking. I was aware of a reservation that made all the difference. His mind spoke, but his heart remained silent.

"What is your scruple, my boy? Tell it me in plain words."

I had never put my feelings into language, and I began doubtfully now. But as I went on, the scruple, as he called it, began, from something vague and dully passionate, to take shape and glow. "It must be less than sixteen years," I said, "since all these advantages were pointed out to my father, and he refused them. He was a man then, ten years older than I am now, and thus better qualified to form a true judgment——"

"No," interrupted Sir George, gently; "he was not so fit to judge. His reason was thrown out of equilibrium by sorrow and the belief that he had been treated harshly and unjustly. You can bring a clear mind to bear on the matter; he had only passion."

"Even if that were so at first, sir," I replied, "he had time to change his mind afterwards; but he never did. My grandfather could offer him nothing but worldly advantages; he could not undo the distress he had page 198made my parents suffer, or call up my mother from her grave."

"Cedric," said my foster-father, with a note of sternness in his tones, "have you allowed the savage law of uto1 to get hold of you? Then," he added, more gently, "it is a pure assumption that your grandfather was the only sinner. Remember too, my boy, that the more tragic facts of your parents' story were pure accidents. Your father's inability to support himself, and your mother's death, whether or no it was attributable to the same cause, were events only indirectly consequent on your grandfather's anger, and certainly unlikely to have been foreseen by him."

"If I could think so——"

"Come, come, my boy. It was so. Would you make a monster of your grandfather?"

"There is something on the boy's mind," said the Governor, regarding me attentively. "Let him show us his whole heart."

"I do not suppose that my grandfather foresaw or calculated on the consequences," I explained; "but he knew of my parents' distress and took no measures to relieve it. So far he was responsible for what followed. In the depths of his misery my father wrote to him a letter that should have moved a heart of stone; he initialled and returned it without one word."

"Where did you learn all this?"

"From Lady Wylde, father."

"Lady Wylde is an injudicious woman," said Sir George, leaning back in his chair with an expression of annoyance.

"I had the story from her in fragments, sir," I said quickly. "She read the letter and she was moved, though in her case it might well have been otherwise. She begged for mercy, but my grandfather was adamant. In the end

1 Uto = vengeance.

page 199she attempted to help alone, but by that time it was too late."

"Then it was probably too late in any case," commented my foster-father.

"Am I to go then, father?" I asked.

"Cedric," he replied, "are you aware that all the world will dub you a fool? It was in such a spirit of quixotism that Cedric Tregarthen, your father, refused quarter from his savage foes. In what light, think you, would Mr. Brompart and the worthy business men of this city regard such abnegation?"

I made no reply. For all the sombreness he sought to give to his tones, I fancied I could detect a note of exultation beneath.

"Can you not find forgiveness for your grandfather?" the Governor asked regretfully, after a moment.

"Forgiveness, sir?" I answered doubtfully. "What is forgiveness? I would not harm him if I had the opportunity; nor is there any malice in my heart towards him. If that be forgiveness, then he is forgiven. But to forget is not in my power, and until I forget I don't want to take a benefit at his hands."

I do not know how long we sat after that, and only fragments of what was said remain in my memory; but I know that I, who went into the room full of doubt, drawn with equal force in opposite directions, yet in a state to welcome compulsion, came forth confirmed in a resolution to accept nothing from my grandfather; and desperately unhappy in that resolve. One thing, to me more desirable than rank or wealth, it had been in his power to give me, and that was the companionship of the girl in whom, even then, my very existence seemed to centre. Was my pride, then, greater than my love? No. I could not have withstood the certain prospect of losing Helenora irretrievably. page 200At the worst I saw in front of me a long parting and the risk that attends the separation of lovers; but that, in the end, I should subdue all difficulties and accomplish my desires I never doubted.

Nevertheless, it was in low spirits that I entered the schoolroom to communicate my final decision.

By this time Miss Temple had fully adopted me as a member of her staff. I had been careful not to arouse her jealousy, and I fear, in my desire to stand well in her eyes, I had even been guilty of referring needlessly to a dictionary and similar acts of hypocrisy difficult to justify.

"Give Mr. Tregarthen"—she only once in all the time I knew her adopted the familiarity of my Christian name—"your Schiller, Helenora. He will read and translate the passage you find so difficult—on what grounds I am unable to imagine."

This was a familiar ruse with the teacher when she arrived at some impenetrable obstacle, and I was always extremely careful to remain unconscious of the pupil's sniffs and nudges, and to enter on my task with a becoming hesitation. Possibly Miss Temple, among her many studies, had not entirely neglected that of the human heart. I think she guessed the state of my feelings and attempted to reward me for my assistance by frequently leaving me alone with Helenora. For that reason, if no other, she holds a kindly place in my recollections of those days.

When the governess had retired, I seated myself on the sofa beside my betrothed, and, as a preliminary to the distressing intelligence I had to communicate, endeavoured to take her hand.

"Oh, don't!" said she, pettishly. Then, aware of my mournful expression—"These bothering German genders! Mädchen can't be masculine. Even the Germans wouldn't page 201be so mad. Yet it must be masculine or feminine. Well, then … if you tell me which it is——"

"Neither," I said. "It is neuter."

"How absurd!" But I was permitted to retain possession of the coveted hand.

"The Germans are so ridiculous. What do they want all these sexes for? Heaven knows, two is enough."

"It comes to them from primitive times. Early man regarded everything as possessing a spirit, and it was natural to suppose a sex too. I expect the neuters came in later on, when he was beginning to have doubts on the matter. As time goes on we may expect——"

"Oh, shut up!"

"I came to tell you, Helenora, that I have decided not to go to England."

"I knew you wouldn't go all along."

"How could you possibly know when I have only just made up my mind?"

"I have known it from the day mother first asked you."

"Well, there is an end of it. I have told my father I am not going."

"I do not know how a person so clever as you are can also be so stupid," Helenora said after a moment, attempting to withdraw her hand.

"You think I have done wrong?"

"Anyway," she replied, evading the direct question, "it brings all this to an end," and she swung her hand in mine to give meaning to her words.

"It can make no difference if you go on loving me, Helenora," I said.

"Oh, yes! If I keep on. But so long as you have your Puhi-Huias you are quite willing not to see me for years and years. If you loved me, you wouldn't care for any one or anything but me, and you would have decided differently."

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I let this doctrine of love go unchallenged. I was too unhappy either to argue with her or defend myself. Perhaps also I knew her in this mood and had learned that silence was best. At any rate, presently I felt her hand creep more closely into mine.

"We may be here for years yet," she said by and by.

"If you only love me truly, Helenora," I ventured, following my own train of thought.

"Of course I love you … and Cedric"—coaxingly—"will you show me how to do those bothering quadratic equations?"

Truly the Germans were right after all!

I have spoken of these three years as a time of joy, but they were also a time of fear. The dependance was on the continuation of Sir George Grey in office as Governor of New Zealand. I touch the politics of those days with a distasteful hand. They are dead and forgotten, and are only briefly revived here in explanation of my own story.

When Sir George—then Captain Grey—arrived in the Colony, Hone Heke was at the height of his triumph. He had defeated the soldiers of the Queen, sacked the capital of the Colony, and was considering fresh and more ambitious schemes of conquest. The native mind, even that of our strongest adherents, was disturbed. The white man, then, was not invincible in war. It was still, perhaps, possible by force of arms to thrust him back into his original subservient position of pakeha-maori. To such ideas, as well as to the fears of the settlers, the energetic action of the new Governor gave instant denial. Prompt and stern measures against Hone Heke, followed by immediate leniency on their success, retrieved the position, recaptured the Maori imagination, and called forth from the settlers universal gratitude and praise. But not for long.

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The Maori remained constant. To him this was a great man, strong in battle, merciful in victory, wise in knowledge; a protector, a father, a true representative of the White Queen—that sublime, far-off goddess, whom their eyes were never to see.

But the settlers took a different view. Here was a man who could lift them out of their difficulties, provide them with landed estates and the means of making money rapidly, solve the native problem—and all by the simple expedient of recommending that the government of the country should be placed in their own hands. Few men will doubt now that war, bloody and long, would have followed the handing over of 120,000 warlike and highly intelligent natives to the government of 20,000 mostly untrained and undisciplined white men; the majority of whom, moreover, had not yet developed any affection for the country, and merely desired to make money rapidly in order that they might leave it. This is to cast no reflection on them; it is merely tantamount to the statement that they were ordinary human beings.

So when the wished-for constitution arrived, the hopes and expectations of the settlers, on the very eve of fulfilment, were dashed to the ground by the action of the Governor, who, foreseeing nothing but disaster as the result of such a measure, and calling to the confirmation of his judgment Bishop Selwyn and the Chief Justice, caused it to be suspended for five years. If to this unpopular act be added the attitude he assumed on the question of native lands, the very apple in the eye of the emigrant, and more especially towards the New Zealand Land Company, it is unnecessary to seek further cause for the bitterness which followed.

How petty and sordid it all appeared to me! I hated the noisy group of would-be politicians, who yelped and clamoured around him. If Sir George had only been my page 204old enemy Te Huata—already the dreaded one was veiling himself in the tenderness of memory—how speedily would they have found a cosy quietude in his umus. Verily I was a savage when some fresh deed or allegation of theirs came to my knowledge. The great New Zealand Land Company did its utmost, both openly and in secret, to cast down the man who stood like a rock in its path. Petitions for his recall were hawked about and dispatched to the Home Government, and for months and years we lived in a state of uncertainty.

But here let me, once for all, draw a distinction. I have spoken of a noisy group of politicians. Let me not be too hard, either, on them. No doubt they persuaded themselves that their actions were conceived in the best interests of the Colony; that their allegations of despicable motives were true; that the Governor was, in truth, the obstinate, power-loving autocrat of their conceptions. Honest men have deluded themselves before and since, and noise, even at this day, is not unknown in the political world. But outside their circle, siding definitely neither with one party nor the other, the true empire-builders continued silently on their way. What recked they of the political turmoil! Work lay ready to their hands, and they did it.

I have shown the reason for my trepidation. Never a mail arrived but I went in fear and trembling till its contents were divulged. But the months passed, and the years. Earl Grey stood firm, and the expected recall did not arrive.

What was I doing in those three years? Let me run over them rapidly, recalling only such events as seem important or of interest.

In the first place, my foster-father's idea that I might be attracted towards some commercial or professional life in the city was not realised. My education, as the reader may long ago have decided, was of an eminently unpractical kind. It by no means fitted me to compete with men of page 205my own race in their common activities, nor had it even provided me with any incentive to do so. But for vague ambitions that drew to no focus, I might have perceived the danger I was in of developing into a drone in the human hive, a mere onlooker, and, worse still, a dissatisfied one. But the reader must not suppose that I was idle; on the contrary, no day was long enough for the work I desired to perform. The possession of a quick-witted pupil inclined to be critical caused me to make an examination of my own accoutrements, with the result that I consumed much time and oil in mending, extending, and polishing them. It pleased me to be without a flaw in Helenora's eyes, as my foster-father was in mine; to be a universal work of reference; to have this one absolute and irreducible superiority over my sweetheart. I was studiously priggish with her; I cared not if I exasperated her with my Sir Absolute, and I often did. It was in her character to feel a deep respect for knowledge, and by luring or goading her into fresh fields, I rendered myself at once admirable and indispensable.

Besides the time devoted to Helenora and my own studies, three or four hours of nearly every day were at the service of the Governor. Sir George was a busy man, and in a hundred and one ways—in addition to the special subject I have already alluded to—I was glad to find that I could help him. He had a very large circle of correspondents, not merely in political but also in scientific and artistic circles; and as time went on, much and finally nearly all this came to be my special task to deal with. Requests for information came in shoals, and, however great the labour involved in answering them, none was neglected. My department could not be said to suffer from monotony. Now we would be collecting information on volcanic outbursts, as discoverable in Maori tradition; now considering the feasibility of stocking the New Zealand page 206rivers with trout. Sir George liked to be abreast of the times in all matters.

I remember an allusion by one of his correspondents—I think it was Professor Huxley—that caused the sending of an order to Europe for books. He had little time to read them when they came, and this was the beginning of a new form of employment for me. My task it became to read and digest the works and then talk them over to, or rather at him. We would have presented a curious reversal of the natural order had any stranger been permitted to come on us at those moments: His Excellency, mildly receptive, myself bristling with knowledge, and doubtless didactic in its delivery. Many a time have I opened Helenora's blue eyes or received an order to "shut up" with gleanings from those ponderous pages. As I lift my eyes, I can see many of those identical volumes, still fresh and well preserved after the lapse of half a century. Some are yet living thoughts; others have been superseded or become discredited; but all alike are endeared to me by the memory of the giver.

I was not a paid secretary, though I might have been so at any time. The whole charm of the connection to me was comprised in the fact that no bonds save admiration and affection held me. But Sir George was not one to suffer obligation lightly, and I think he only reached complete contentment in our partnership when, after the arrival of a mail, he could place a pile of books on my table, with my name written in the fly-leaf.

Did I do any other work? A little for Mr. Brompart. Business in connection with money matters—for, as I think I have said, he was my foster-father's agent—frequently took me to his office. He kept no staff of clerks, doing everything himself, with the occasional—I am afraid very occasional—help of one of his boys. After a while he took to confiding in me, so far as his naturally secretive page 207nature would allow. He spoke despondingly of his sons; indeed, without enthusiasm of his whole family. "They want to return to England, Master Cedric; that's their constant cry," he would say. In the end I found something lonely and pathetic in the little man which moderated the dislike I had at first felt for him. It was in this mood that, finding him harassed by the necessity of doing a great many things at once, I gave him an offer of assistance with his books, which was greedily accepted. After this I would drop in for an hour or so two or three times a week, and, so far as my ability permitted, put the financial side of his affairs into some kind of order.

But there were times, occasionally extending into months, when these employments were suspended or curtailed by the absence of the Governor on visits to other parts of the Colony. Sometimes he went almost alone—that is, with his secretary, possibly an aide, or myself; at others his whole suite, including Lady Wylde and Helenora, accompanied him, and at those times I never failed to receive an invitation to join the party. In this manner I visited Wellington and Nelson and acquainted myself with the doings of the white men in both islands.

But the journeys I loved best—after allowing for the disadvantage of being separated from my beloved—were those in which Sir George and I were alone, or, if with one other, that other Bishop Selwyn. On foot, attended by a few Maori bearers and guides, we covered long distances, suffered many misadventures, and were happy. Many a time have we arrived, jaded and hungry, at some native village, the bourn of our travels, to find ourselves inspired with fresh vigour by the gracious hospitality of its inhabitants. Many a time have I seen the teeth of the huge palisades drawn that the distinguished travellers might enter by no common gateway.

I cannot say that I ever developed that enthusiastic page 208affection for the Bishop that I felt for the Governor, yet he was a man worthy of devotion, if ever there were one. Perhaps the trend of his mind was too stern and uncompromising for my youth. Climbing the fern-hills or trudging along the bush-tracks, I would listen to the conversation of my companions and note the difference between them. Sir George was naturally a religious man; he had an unshakable belief in a controlling Providence, and yet in matters of detail he was almost certainly a latitudinarian. He could converse for hours amicably with my foster-father; the Bishop could scarce be civil for five minutes together.

Another point of difference lay in the variety of Sir George's interests. He could encounter nothing new without having the whole of his attention attracted towards it. A tree had to have a native and a botanical name; the note of a bird needed to be identified. If a bearer picked up a vegetative caterpillar or a pupurangi,1 he would keep the party waiting till more were discovered; a passing allusion by his Maori hosts would send him, keen-scented, on the trail of a new legend. The Bishop, on the other hand, kept his mind resolutely fixed on the matter in hand. He would draw the conversation back again and yet again to the object of the journey, and be for ever urging the advance. Ah, what a man he was! How truly, with all his mind—and it was no mean one—and with all his strength, he served his Master! Nothing could stop him in his work; neither rivers, nor mud, nor weariness of the flesh, nor angry men. He spared no one, least of all himself.

If I count these among my labours, then a few words will suffice for my pleasures. Riding and boating were the chief of them. I had soon outgrown the poor nag which Mr. Brompart assigned to my use, and a few months found

1 Pupurangi = a large snail.

page 209me with a horse and trappings of my very own. From that time I spent nearly every available moment on horse-back, usually, especially in the summer time, in company with Helenora, but sometimes with one of the junior officers of the garrison, or alone. Among my friends of those days I must not forget the 58th Regiment. There were few men in it, from Lieutenant-Colonel Wynyard, in command, to the last of the ranks, with whom I was not on speaking terms. I loved the simple, good-natured privates, while I deplored their partiality for beer and its consequences: I could understand them a great deal better than I could the townsmen, with their sharp, money-hungry faces. For the gallant Colonel I had a strong regard, and he, I think, had a liking for me; at all events, I was a frequent guest at his house, and in its precincts Helenora and I spent many happy hours.

I think it was not very long after my arrival in Auckland that Colonel and Mrs. Wynyard gave a fancy-dress ball to the élite of the city. Though we were regarded as too young to share in the festivities, we were permitted to witness them surreptitiously. Helenora told me that the whole affair was a very moderate one indeed, but, for my part, it dimmed into insignificance the splendours of the native meeting-house at its best. The Colonel received his guests as an old-time landlord of a country inn; but as I seem to remember him also very distinctly as Sir Brian de Bois Guilbert, he probably changed his dress during the evening.

That night was rendered memorable by the burning of the Windsor Castle Hotel in Mechanics' Bay, an event which brought the gay scene to a premature end and sent us all—not excepting the Governor—post-haste to the work of fighting the conflagration. I am afraid that the heroic efforts at salvage made by the crowd were not always entirely disinterested, for I saw cans of spirit flit by me in page 210the red light and met many unsteady and excessively noisy people on my road home in the darkness just before dawn.

But if I begin on these old memories I shall never have done. Ah, reader, no doubt you have discovered already why I delay, and am reluctant to get to the end of those three years!