Prime Minister's Song

I've been overseas at the country's expense
At all the best meetings I sat on the fence
Visiting diplomats thought I was swell
For though I said nothing I said it quite well.

(Refrain)
I saw Freddy Doidge at a London hotel
I'm happy to tell you he's feeling quite well
And when I was there, too, I saw the princess
She asked me to buy her a new evening dress.

I met Winston Churchill, a very old friend
Went with him to Chequers to spend a weekend
What places to visit I wanted to know
He told me politely just where I could go.

They thought me a Christian they know better now
I told them quite frankly I worship the cow
I said they'd have butter and heaven's above
We won't ask for money we'll do it for love.

I went to the States and I told dear old Ike
To come to New Zealand and take what he'd like
He said he eats crayfish and wants to catch trout
Now all us poor fishes had better watch out.

New Zealand's a nice place, of that there's no doubt
But as for Sid Holland we're better without
You've been overseas and alas and alack
Why did you, why did you ever come back?

♦