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Salient. Official Newspaper of the Victoria University of Wellington Students Assn. Volume 40, No. 16. July 11 1977

Two Lined Struggle in Apathy

Two Lined Struggle in Apathy

Dear Sir

This is the first letter I/we/they have written to Salient this year. As President, Director and Board of Governors of the Kelburn Apathy Political Party, I feel that our voice should be heard in the current struggle for publicity by the Thorndon Apathy League and the Lapp Goch Apathy League.

I would like to affirm our apathy to everything and state that we take absolutely no notice of what is written in Salient, Pravda, or 'Censored Salient'. We take no responsibility while labouring under our natural imbecility or disease of the mind to such an extent as to render us incapable of understanding the nature and quantity of our acts and/or omissions or letters to Salient. Again, and I repeat it, for the second time, as I said before, thereupon repeating myself, our pet dog/camel Fido did not connive in the riling of this litter.

Yours faithfully,

Sincerely yours,

On our behalf,

Professor H.C.L. Acid,

Dean of the Kelburn Alchemists Club,Refounder of the While Sports Coat and PinkCarnation Society also Sub-Vice Pro Chairman of the KelburnApathy Political Party.

PS. This letter did not originate from 2 Gladstone Terrace.

I'LL BE TRAMPLED TO DEATH!

Dear David

I have recently been aware of various letters within the Salient columns from supposed ascendents of apathy, especially (and chiefly) those concerning the Thorndon apathy League. I am a 3rd year student completing a degree in Sociology — for which I am studying the structure of local philosophical organisations [unclear: hence] my anciety over the VUW apathy situation. After weeks of analysis and study it has become clear to me (and it is my pleasure and to my satisfaction to inform you), that every so-called letter since the beginning of the month before last has been a hoax! It is certain to me that; Richard (Dick) Walker (whose letter appeared in Salient May 16) is nothing and is not the newly elected member of the League, that Sir Timothy Belacquath-whoever is an Irish Git! and that the once honoured among apathetes — Cyril Bumtrinket is most probably a schitzophremic and has definitely turned into a purile little excuse for what Johny R. and Fred S. display themseoves to be marvelously.

Locally, the Thorndon apathy League is the only true League of Apathy — being brought together purely by disinterest in doing so, (or for that matter anything else). The last Genuine letter from TAL appeared in Salient at the beginning of the year, it announced the departure of the Vice-president, Neville H Toad, for greener pastures and it also hinted at the dissolution of the League, it was submitted by J Sawnoff (one of the original members).

However, having become severely bored by the situation of the League Mr Toad has temporarily [unclear: refoined] the League in an attempt to reorganise their procrastinative efforts. Welcome home Mr Toad. So [unclear: hepefully] we will be seeing the reappearance of the genuine Thorndon Apathy League in the near future.

Yours Truly.

Julie Bewly

Non-apathist.