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Title: Salient. Victoria University Student Newspaper. Vol. 37 No. 3. March 20, 1974

Publication details: Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association, 20 March 1974, Wellington

Part of: Salient : An Organ of Student Opinion at Victoria College, Wellington, N.Z.

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Salient. Victoria University Student Newspaper. Vol. 37 No. 3. March 20, 1974

Next Week from the Children of God ?

Next Week from the Children of God ?

Suggested Donation 15c—Please Pay Up "Jesus Saves!" — Bo January 21, 1974 No. 6001 —GP

Copyrighted January 1974, by the Children of Crud, Box 31 W.C.D.O. London WCIA 100, England or Box 119, Dallas Tx. 75221

1.	While i was Making Love this Morning a Strange Thought came to me! (It is funny that these thoughts often come to me when I make love! — It is almost as though God makes it happen then, at that time — you know — that he sort of knows it was a Good Thing to be doing — See! — He approves of it!)
2.	This was a Vision that Comes to me While i was Making Love! It is a good vision from God — Because I am making love! — Dig! Marie gets her pencil quickly before it go away! — She write it all down! — This is what she writes!
3.	In My Vision there was this Big Dog and it was Having a Bath! — Okay? — You think that's rather funny! Well, it was funny! It was a big dog, too! — not just a boxer or a spaniel, but a Great Big German Shepherd! You know, like one of those great big dogs that rescues people from mountains! It was as big as that!
4.	It was about Four Foot Six Inches Long — Okay — and it was Sitting in the Bath! — It was huge! — Our bath tub is pretty big, but I tell you that this dog was so big that he filled it to overflowing! — The water was flowing all over the floor! — What a mess! — As if the Red Sea was rolling back! (See Exod 14.28)
5.	'Mazing, isnt it! — Yeah! Almost Like a Miracle! — Indeed it was a Miracle! — To think of a great big dog, lying on his back in the bath! It was a miracle! Dog's don't usually lie on their backs in the bath, with water in it! — It was unusual!
6.	But that's not all he was Doing! — Wait for it! — He was aotually pulling himself off! A great big dog, lying in the bath, masturbating himself! That is what I saw! With water sloshing around all over the bathroom! The big dog was masturbating himself and a little green frog was hopping around on the floor under the bath!
7.	While this was Happening! — Yes! — at the Very Moment that the Dog was Reaching his Emission! — At that very moment, the door opened! You think that is strange? I tell you — my brother it was a powerful vision !
8.	This was a Most Important Vision! was Having! — I knew it! — I could sense it — you know — down in my bones — somewhere — down in my heart!
9.	The Door to the Bathroom Opened — and in Walked Napoleon! — Yeah! Napoleon! I knew it was Napoleon because he was short and had only eye and one hand — you know! like Napoleon had, and he looked like — well — that he had been in a good few scraps in his time!
10.	He Looked — Yeah! — Like God had been Helping him for a Long Time! — Just like that! A sort of big gleam in his eye! Well — he looked sorta groovy just standing there in the doorway! Inside the dog was reaching his emission! And here was Napoleon standing in the doorway! — Savvy? — Like he had come to save that dog from something! Something that dog did not know about! Because he had not taken Jesus Christ into his heart! The little green frog just kept on hopping around in there!
11.	Then Suddenly Dog see Napoleon! And he go mad! Like he got rabies! He go mad, see! He jump on up out of that bath just like he got rabies! See! — he has not got Jesus Christ! — He got the rabies! He get up out of that bath and growl and roar like he is mad and then he rush at Napoleon! The little green frog goes hopping around like mad! (See BO Book "The Frog" — suggested donation 25c — Please Pay up!) And the great big dog acts like he got rabies! 'Cause he no friend of Jesus! That's how God works his wonders!
12.	Napoleon Fights with Great Big German Shepherd! But he can't do anything! How are the mighty fallen! He can't do anything! You try to do something when a great big German Shepherd bites you in the neck! You can't do anything — Right!
13.	Well — Napoleon Tried! — he, —Fought! — but he could not do Any—thing! He was helpless as a little lamb! The great big dog was too much for him! He chewed his head off! The dog had rabies, not Jesus Christ! If he had Jesus Christ he would not fight!
14.	Jesus Christ Teaches us — "we must not Fight"! So — the dog would not fight if he was friends with Jesus Christ!
15.	Napoleon Fought too! But that was all right! You see — he had to defend himself! It is all right to defend yourself ! The dog was not defending himself! He was attacking! He has rabies!
16.	Napoleon Fought like a Dog! The dog fight like a madman! Napoleon falls down dead on the floor! — Thump! — The little green frog hops around!
17.	That was my Vision! — I saw it while I was making love! — Yeah! There was this big German Shepherd Dog! He was masturbating himself down there in the bath! — Remember! — And the door opened and Napoleon was there (I don't know if Napoleon opened the door! — He might have done!) The dog leapt at Napoleon like he had rabies! — the dog, I mean — not Napoleon! And the dog chewed off Napoleon's head! So now Napoleon lies down dead!
18.	Napoleon Seemed to be the Goody! — You know! — Like in pictures the cowboys are the goodies and the indians are the baddies! (Though this was not right — see "Who are the Racists?" — by Bo — suggested donation 5c — Please Pay up!) Not that this was cowboys and indians! This was something different! This was a vision that I had!
19.	But if Napoleon was the Goody and the Great Big German Shepherd was the Baddy, why is the Goody Killed and the Baddy Still Went on Living? Napoleon died! — Remember! — and the dog went right on living! This is unfair! God is just! God is fair! — Why is this unfair! Get it?
20.	I Thought for a While — Remember! — Marie and i were Just Making Love when this Happened! — This vision! — Jesus Christ gives me those visions! Hallelujiah! Praise the Lord!
21.	You may or may not Believe this but it took me a Long While to Figger out what this Vision was About! My mind was swirling with thoughts about 40 days and 40 days makes 80 days — 'Around the World in Eighty Days' — And how much money these servants of Mammon in the world were making! — And whether I should raise the price of my suggested donations! — Please Pay up! Marie says I should take a long holiday but I cannot do that though I work so hard. The world Needs me and my message! — I will not desert you! — Brothers!
22.	Then Several Solutions came to me all at Once! That's right! — They came hopping out at me just like that little green frog! Most Britishers are Jews, including many of the leaders of England, particularly those who operate BBC, and the Irish with their typical Jewish humour and music and temperament, and the Welsh even in their language!
23.	That Dog — it could be Egypt! — See? — The waters of the Red Sea flowing over the bath gave me that idea! Napoleon, then, — he is probably Big Daddy Amerika! — That's it! — Amerika threatens Egypt and Eygpt eats Amerika's head off! — Get it? — Yeah, baby! — That what God means!
24.	But why is the Big German Shpherd Masturbating Himself in his Bath? must look for some other answer! — God sometimes sets some hard problems! — Like math! — Never was much good at math!
25.	Perhaps Napoleon is Germany! (Like German Hitler — dig? — Hitler was evil!) What could the dog be? Russia perhaps! Perhaps he is a Russian Dog! See! — Dog spells God backwards! — And the Russians are Atheists! They are the Dog because they don't believe in God! — Get it! — God is Dog backwards!
26.	But Germany and Russia Aren't Fighting any more! — Are they? — They seem to be friendly right now! — Perhaps too friendly!
27.	It then Approaches its Deepest Pene—Tration and very Closest Proximity to the Earth in the middle of the month, climaxing in its most brilliant emission of pyrotechnical firewords in its orgasm of inter-course between itself and the Earth!
28.	Perhaps the Dog is China and Napoleon is France! — Two nuclear powers! Yippee! — Then we'll all be dead! — Hallelujiah!
29.	Or Perhaps the Dog is Chile and Napoleon is Itt! Or perhaps the little green frog is ITT and the Dog is Kahoutek, and Napoleon is Iceland, and the bathtub is the Jews, and the dog is Antarctica, and Napoleon is me!
30.	Or Perhaps i am the Little Green Frog? and Napoleon is Watergate and the Dog is Gadaffi, and Nixon is a Jew, and i am God, and Napoleon is the Dog, and the Little Green Frog is Kissinger, and i am the Little Green Frog, and God is Napoleon, and Napoleon is me, and the Dog is me, and i am God. And i am Napoleon, and i am the Bath—Tub, and i am the Dog. And i am the i Little Green Frog! (Oink, Oink!)
31.	And Marie! Marie! what are these Men in White Coats Grabbing me and Tying this Big Jacket to me so that i cant Move While we are Making Love Only 40 Days and Marie why are the Walls all Looking like the Back of a Leather Armchair and Marie it is the End! the End! Be a little green frog for Jesus! Hallelujiah! Help!