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Salient. Victoria University Student Newspaper. Volume 36, Number 20. 29th August 1973

Dogmatix

Dogmatix

Dear Salient,

I feel the time is long past when we can calmly accept the presence of dogs at Victoria University. I am, you will understand, no dog hater. Indeed there is nothing I enjoy more than sharing my lunch with a member of the species, a pleasure I have had several times this year, in the cafeteria. (Cafeteria meals incidentally might be successfully marketed as a new line of dog food.)

Nor do I strongly object to chewed up lecture notes, (passing or failing exams is of little importance to me). I am a person of some liberal opinion and find the public acts of canine copulation more interesting than offensive, and the generous servings of dogshit around the place more offensive than intolerable. These things are understandable and even acceptable.

Some things are however not to be endured. An incident of late may indicate the seriousness of the situation.

I arrived at University hot, tired, breathless, exhausted and sweating (praise God for the fortunate location of the place) and entered the Union building. I was greeted with great enthusiasm by a 14ft alsation who happily eased my load a little by gobbling up my bag, alas giving me little chance to remove my hand and arm from it beforehand. (It wasn't overly important. Being left-handed I don't need my right arm that much anyway). On entering the cafeteria I lost my right leg to a splendid Afghan. (My fault entirely, I tried to duck in before him at the queue.) It was however the grotesque sight of a beaming bulldog ( they have an utterly hideous smile) devouring the remains of a once close now rather distant friend that rather disgusted me. I returned home trembling with shock, fear, and nausea and refuse to return until this serious situation is remedied.

Yours B. Landy.