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Salient. Victoria University Student Newspaper. Volume 36, Number 19. 2nd August 1973

Get Organised!

Get Organised!

Dear Sir,

For a whole year now I have been reading the pathetic little dribble of letters in your columns referring to the cafeteria. Some literary students have compared the food with human faeces, others have merely resorted to the time dishonoured war cry of the silent majority i.e. "Why doesn't someone do something about it?"

Well personally I think the cafe food is quite delicious. I have a preference for highly priced lumps of fat and gristle, white sugar and white flour cakes, chilled gravey soup and gonorrhoea discharge peas. I revel in sour coffee and fatty pies.

Many people think it is strange, but the human tastebuds are subject to many variations so while I enjoy my meals in the cafeteria, I am not surprised that others, even many others, find them distasteful. What does surprise me is that so many students suffer in silence. If they continue to suffer thus then they deserve every horrid mouthful that they take.

So what is to be done? Just imagine the effect of a protracted mass boycott of the cafeteria! Imagine six thousand students marching defiantly in at mid-day armed with brown paper-bags and thermos flasks. I can see it all now, the food congealing in its not-quite-stainless metal warmers, the desperate appeal of the caterers and the howling of the scabs as they are flung head first into the warm slimy gravey!!

And then the dream passes and I am left, a lump in my throat and mock cream on my cardigan front, The red mists part before my eyes and I see only clumps and cluster of grumbling students pushing untouched plates aside and lighting cigarettes with hands trembling in impotent rage.

But if....

Students of Victoria unite! Down with Nationwide gasterialism and all their runny custard! We have a feed to win, we have nothing to lose but a few ugly pounds.

Yours in excited anticipation Beverley Scott.